Follow Me
by allwalkfree
Summary: When the only people Zenitsu considers family are killed by an upper moon. It leaves the scared boy all alone in a dangerous world, or well, that is until a pillar finds him and tries in his own awkward way to train him for the final selection. Or, In which Obanai doesn't want to but still somehow ends up taking Zenitsu under his wing
1. I Found You

Move.

He needed to move.

Obanai knew, clearer than he'd known anything ever before, that if he stopped now, he would die.

_Move _

Vision blurry, chest heaving, and hair matted against his skull, the snake pillar reached out blindly for the nearest object. Hand pressing down on a tree, he staggered; slick fingers smearing blood across the bark.

He breathed.

Nothing had gone right on this mission. It hadn't been simple, the demons – the demons had been more than he'd been led to believe, and for some messed up reason... the humans, they had worshipped them. Willing to die and even kill him to protect their masters.

The situation was tricky, but – Obanai was a demon slayer. It was his job to protect these people, to save them, to avenge them, but – they'd poisoned him...Hurt him to save their masters, protect them – and yet, he'd tried, he'd tried so damn hard.

Kids, there had been kids there. So, he fought, and he bled and he'd won. But at what cost?

"_I need to thank Shinobu,' _he thought absentmindedly; vision slowly clearing as the detoxing agent started to take effect. If it hadn't been for his follow slayer, Obanai was sure he'd be dead by now._'I'll take over her training duties for a week,' _he decided. Still-

Outside of the poison, he was gravely injured; his leg leaving a bloody track behind it where he was dragging it behind him as he was slowly inching his way out of the forest.

If Obanai didn't get some semblance of rest soon, he would most likely not make it. Thankfully; even if he was far away from any rest station, he recognized this area. The former thunder pillar lived around these parts, and Obanai was sure the old man would have the grace to put up with him for a while. So-

With that in mind, he inched his way towards the only destination he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, would keep him alive.

What he saw when he arrived at the edge of the cliff however.

_-Blood- _

_-Death- _

_-Carnage- _

There was something to be said about getting used to things. After a while of experiencing certain situations, a person-through time-will get used to those types of situations. Will not flinch when faced with them again and will move forward with a level head and a calm exterior, but – Obanai's stomach lurched.

Sometimes, certain situations just catch you of guard.

When safety – the very concept of safety, is flipped on its head... One finds themselves unsteady on their feet. Unsure, scared, and although Obanai Iguro is a pillar, and had been a demon slayer for even longer, for a split second, for a moment – His fingers stitched, his legs shook, and his face pinched into an expression of utter grief.

He remembered the old man well.

He had a certain laugh.

A frame shaking, stomach holding, belching of a laughter. It had been annoying, it had been warm.

Scanning the village bellow with two different eyes, Obanai furrowed his brows. The old man was dead. He wouldn't - if he was still alive, if he... These people would still be breathing if – if he was still alive, the old man wouldn't have let this happen.

He was dead.

He'd retired, and he was still dead.

It left a sickening feeling in Obanai's gut. A sort of disconnecting pain that he hadn't felt for a very long time. A sort of burning feeling under his skin that made him-

Lifting a finger, he gently patted the slithering snake around his neck. "Let's check for survivors," he muttered.

Kaburamaru hissed softly at him. It was as much of a comfort to Obanai as anything. His lips twitched. "Thank you."

-Making his way down the mountainside was difficult and painful, but without a single sound leaving past his lips; only the echoes of his labored breathing greeting the wind, Obanai made his way down the rocky paths, slowly but surely.

When his feet finally met solid ground, he raised his face to the sky, and closed his eyes. His shoulder ached, his leg burned, and his ribs creaked, but – he only gave himself a second to breathe, before he put one foot in front of the other and started moving forward.

_Nothing and no one. _

Every single life in front of him had been snuffed out. He couldn't count how many times he'd kneeled down; leg screaming in agony, and checked for a pulse on the least ravaged bodies around him, but-

Nothing.

Kaburamu hissed again. Obanai patted him. "It seems they're all gone, old friend." The snake didn't say anything else, and Obanai continued on his journey. Towards the small cabin squashed between two enclosed training grounds.

The old man was probably dead, but – He wanted to see it for himself. See what was left of him.

When his feet finally came to a stop in front of the broken-down door, he saw the kid first.

Sobbing and hunched over, all Obanai could do in that very instant, was stare. He hadn't sensed him; probably the poison; while weak now was still coursing through his veins, but..._There was someone alive here. _Yes, the old man... the old man was dead (The snake pillar could clearly make out the twisted white hair and the jagged scar from where he stood), but, someone had survived the massacre. Someone was still alive.

A crying, unharmed, sobbing boy.

And he held a sword between his fingers. Fingers that were clutching at the hem of the dead man's haori.

Obanai took a step forward. The kid tensed; noise suddenly dying in his throat. Obanai took another, and then another, until he was standing across from the blonde child.

The kid had yet to move, but – his fingers were now gripping firmly at the hilt of his sword.

Good

At least he wasn't totally hopeless.

Dropping down on his knees; ignoring the pulsing pain temporarily, Obanai placed both hands on his legs and sighed. "He is dead. They are all dead, so what happened here, demon slayer?"

The kid's head shot up, and through his glassy stare and wobbling bottom lip, the snake pillar saw something.

A burning rage, a reckless glint and a thirst for vengeance.

Obanai's skin crawled and his mouth tasted like ash.

It seemed, no matter how many battles they fought, he fought, tragedies would always strike someone down.

"Are you a demon slayer?"

The question was hesitant, wary, scared.

Obanai glared. "I am a pillar, kid. Show some respect and answer my question."

The kid's shoulders tensed for a second, before they sunk into themselves and the crying boy lowered his head. "I wasn't here," he muttered; one hand coming up to run shaking fingers over the old man's face. "But a demon did this. She did this. Gra-Master told me. Before he... Before he-"

A sob.

The snake pillar stilled.

"A demon? Singular?"

The kid nodded again. "Just one."

Just one.

One demon.

One demon killed a former pillar and an entire village so fast that some of the victims' bodies were still warm. Still bleeding out.

Obanai swallowed.

A single demon.

"An upper moon," he breathed.

The kid's eyes grew sharp. "What does that mean," he blurted; fingers still resting on what remained of the old man's face. "That's what gram...master said too. What does it mean!"

The demon slayer frowned. "It means you better start talking brat. What happened?"

* * *

So yup, I'm back with these two again. It seems I have an obsession with this none existant relationship and I'm so gonna make it a thing. Besides, I love Zenitsu and I want to give him more focus and more struggles in this fic.


	2. Leaving Behind Memories

The dull throbbing of his right leg was screaming in unbearable pain by the time the kid stumbled through his tear-filled explanation, but thankfully he hadn't minced any words, and Obanai got the general gist of the whole situation.

Scowling, he shifted in place; carefully keeping his face blank. "So, this attack was targeted?" The kid nodded. Face now dry, but eyes still red rimmed. His fingers had made their way down the old man's frame and where now clutching at his cold hand.

"Master said that to me. Before he di – he said that she had come here deliberately. To kill us all. I... I should've" His face pinched and his eyes teared up again. "I should have been here." Blinking once then twice, the kid's whole body shook with grief. "I should have been here. Then maybe, senpai – master... I-"

"Stop crying. It's too late for that." Obanai hadn't meant the words to come out as harsh as they did, but the teen still flinched back, and the snake pillar grimaced at his own tone. "I didn't mean that," he huffed. "But you need to get yourself together. Why do you think Kuwajima-san was targeted? Why this village? Do any of you possess something that an upper moon would desire?" The kid softly murmured in the negative.

"Think brat!"

Another shake of the head. The pillar sighed. The kid was clearly too distressed to think with any efficiency right now. And it was best they started to move before the sun began to set, but-he couldn't leave before-

Lifting himself back up to his feet with some effort, he pressed down on his neck and breathed slowly. "Get up brat, we have work to do." The kid blinked up at him in surprise. Old tears trickling down his cheeks at the action.

"We? What are we supposed to do? Everyone is already dead!" With each world his voice rose up an octave. Obanai glared him into an abrupt silence.

"We are going to bury the dead. Now get up and find me a shovel." The teen sprang up to his feet at the commanding tone and scrambled out of the tiny house; trying very hard not to look back down on his master.

The snake pillar sighed again. He knew the cleanup crew would eventually get here and it wouldn't be a problem if they just left, but – the kid needed this, and it made Obanai's stomach turn just thinking about leaving almost hundred people out in the sun to rot and get swallowed up by animals hungry for raw meat.

These people deserved better than that. Kuwajima-san's people deserved better than that.

"I found a couple of shovels in the shed at the back!" the kid called out to him from the outside; interrupting his depressing thoughts.

"On my way," he called back; carefully side stepping the old man and walking out of the bloodied house. The kid was standing at the gate, two shovels in hand and face turned downward. His skin was pale against the light of the burning sun and his lips had been chewed into a bloody mess. He looked, _small._ Obanai gritted his teeth.

Walking up to the brat, he grabbed a shovel out of his shaking hand and passed him by. However, before he could think better of it, Iguro found himself lifting his own hand and patting the kid on the head, once. "Get to work brat."

The tiny surprised noise the blonde let out at the awkward attempt at comfort sounded much better than the haunted tone he'd been sporting all day. Iguro didn't know why that mattered, but in a way, it did.

They worked in shared silence. Starting on opposite side of the village; with the snake pillar occasionally climbing rooftops just to quickly check on the brat's whereabouts. He told himself it was to make sure the idiot didn't pass out from recognizing someone important to him. The little voice in the back of his head disagreed, but when had Obanai ever listened to that pestering annoyance before?

Maybe that's why in the end; after nearly eighteen hours of draining work, his vision blurred again, he stumbled where he stood, and before he could even sound the alarm, everything turned dark and he was gone long before his body met the ground with a harsh thud.

Maybe climbing roofs while you were still suffering from blood loss wasn't such a good idea.

**XXXXXX**

Obanai didn't know how long he'd been unconscious for, but when awareness slowly started to trickle back into his body, his ears could faintly pick up a high-pitched voice and loud hissing sound. Twisting his body slightly, he hissed at the burning pain that dashed across his side. The noise around him stilled, and then a warm breath fanned across his face.

"Senpai?"

Cracking open his eyes in that moment, was probably one of the hardest things Obanai Iguro had ever done in his entire life. It felt like moving mountains. His body wouldn't listen to him, and the effort it took just to let the glimmer of light meet his eyes, made sweat dampen his forehead. But when he eventually managed to accomplish the simple yet tremendously difficult task, he was met with the sight of a worried pair of golden eyes and a tiny wobbly smile filled with uncertainty.

Obanai gave himself a moment to fully take in his current situation. And then smacking his lips; noticing how dry his throat was, he spoke up. "How long have I been out." It sounded hoarse, painful. The kid most have noticed it too, because he vanished from his position above the pillar; making the man wince at the sudden light that burned his eyes and was back in less than a minute with a cold glass of water.

A soft murmur of thanks later and Iguro was gratefully gulping down the refreshing drink. After three slurps, the glass was pulled away, and the kid was back again; leaning over him and staring down at him with worry. "I found you collapsed by the Suzuki family's house. Are you ok Senpai?" The snake pillar could still feel the throbbing ache all across his bruised and injured body, but he settled down his voice in what he hoped was a reassuring tone, and said yes.

"Never mind that," he continued. "How long was I out? What about the bodies?"

The kid sent him a tentative smile again; eyes once more brimming with tears. "It's just been three hours." He said. "And don't worry. I gave the last few a proper burial. We're done."

For the first time in a very long while, relief coursed through Obanai's veins. "Good," he said. "Good."

The kid leaned away and stood up. "What now?" he asked; the uncertainty he was feeling bleeding into his words. The shock of his situation didn't seem to have set in yet. Iguro didn't want to think about how bad it was going to get when it finally did, but for now, he would try to keep the kid as busy as possible. So long as he had something to do with his hands, it was unlikely he would collapse in on himself with grief. He'd already shown that level of strength by burying the dead, Obanai could only hope he would continue to do so, at least till they got a couple days between themselves and this place.

"Pack a bag brat," he mutters; hauling himself into a sitting position before throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "Take anything important to you, because we're not coming back here." With that said, he finally makes it off the bed and starts walking towards the tiny kitchen at the corner. Kaburamaru has curled himself into a ball on the table. Resting on the kid's colorful haori. Obanai doesn't know why, but something deep within his heart softens at the observation.

Dragging out a chair, he sits down. A low grunt escaping past his lips. When his fingers come to press against his face in thought however, he pauses. What the-

"Hey kid," he calls out; brows furrowed, and lips curled into a nasty scowl. "Brat! Where are my bandages!" Obanai didn't get pissed off a lot. He never had a need to, outside of the simmering rage dancing under his skin, but this – no one took his fucking bandages without asking first. And not even then. "Brat!"

The kid comes running around the corner. A neat pile of white clothing resting in his outstretched arms. He looks scared. "I," he starts; eyes looking at everything beside the man sitting in front of him. "You were choking on air or something, and I just – I was scared and... I thought you would – and I-" Now the rambles had turned into short gasping breaths and tear-filled eyes and, damn it.

"Relax kid," Iguro interrupts him. "I just want them back. Forget about everything else." The blonde sends him a weak smile in gratitude, and Obanai scowls and looks away.

Idiotic weakling.

When he has the bandages safely secured around the lower part of his face, his shoulders untense and his fingers; that he hadn't known were twitching uncomfortably, finally still. He breathes. Good, this was good. Nothing was happening, he was fine. He was ok. He – Obanai breathes deeply, holds it and lets it out in a long exhale.

He was ok.

"Senpai?"

He hums. Eyes staring at nothing in particular.

"What's your name?"

Obanai blinks. Huh? He hadn't? The kid didn't know – he hadn't told him? His face suddenly flushes red, and he coughs into his hand. Well, that was an oversight. Come to think of it, he hadn't asked about the brat's name either. Nerves prickling in irritation, the snake pillar takes a moment to thank God none of the other idiots where here to witness his brief lapse in judgment. It was a minor mistake, but – Obanai didn't do minor mistakes.

"Senpai?"

"Obanai Iguro," he snaps. The kid flinches. "That's my name. Now, what's yours?"

And then – right before the kid steeled himself, ready to blurt out his own useless name, Obanai – _he remembered_. It was like the old man was standing right next to him. His scratchy voice whispering into his ear as an old letter he'd once read flashed for the briefest of moments behind his eyes.

"Agatsuma Zenitsu," they both say at the same time. One just the slightest bit delayed than the other, but none the less; the kid looks shocked. "How?"

Iguro scoffs. "I have a good memory," he mutters; taking the cowards way out and not looking at the kid. His chest still feels tight at the tiny memory of the old man. "Kuwajima-san told me about you once. Now go pack."

It was clear the kid, or now Agatsuma wanted to ask further questions by the way his cheeks were puffed, and his eyes were gleaming with something of a desperate hunger, but Obanai quickly shot the notion down with a deadly glare. "Don't test me brat. Now go."

Deflating, the kid lets his shoulder fall. "I already did that," he mumbles. "It's not much, but I packed everything while you were out." Then looking down as if in guilt, he twisted his fingers around his pants. "I took some of gra-masters things and some of Kaigaku-senpai's. Do you think that's ok?"

Reaching out towards Kaburamaru, Iguro gave a careless shrug. "Do what you want. None's here to stop you right?"

For some reason, Kaburamaru just snapped lightly at his hand, before slithering over to the teen next to him and climbing up his arm faster than the kid could blink. Zenitsu yelps and freezes on the spot. Not daring to even blink as the snake curls himself around his neck; hissing softly at his master. Obanai frowns. "You're scaring the kid Kaburamaru." The snake doesn't budge, and the pillar sighs. "Don't lose the fool," he says to the brat and stands up to make his way over to the door.

Stopping at the threshold, he looks around. The place is tiny, barren, cold, empty almost. "Whose place is this?" he asks; more like wonders out loud. He doesn't expect the brat to answer, but he does.

"It's mine," he mumbles; head tilted away from Kaburamaru's face and eyes terribly sad. "I took you here after you... I didn't think putting you in a de- I thought this would work better."

Obanai nods, and then they are both out the door, and walking away from a place they both once knew. Away from Zenitsu's home.

The snake pillar notices how far this tiny hut was from the village, but he doesn't comment on it. Just notes absentmindedly that maybe the distance is what kept the kid alive when everyone else met their gruesome faiths. If his stomach twists at the tiny little lonely hut excluded from the bustling village in the distance, he doesn't voice it. If his fingers clench and his mouth taste like ash, he doesn't dwell on it. It didn't matter now.

It never would. So instead he takes a deep breath-

"Let's go Agatsuma. Our destination is week's journey away."

The rest station wasn't too far, and Obanai was going to get the kid there and let him be someone else's trouble. But, he swore to himself as they started walking, he was going to get Agatsuma there. Come hell or high water. He was going to get the brat there safely. He owed Kuwajima-san that much.


	3. Grief

Walking away from the only home he'd ever known had surprisingly been a lot easier than Zenitsu had expected. He'd felt nothing, nothing at all. Just a hollow-empty feeling that left him almost breathless. Maybe he should have known then. Maybe he should have anticipated what's to come. Something was clearly wrong with him. He wasn't thinking straight and he – wherever Obanai-senpai was taking him, he didn't know how to feel about that either. He didn't know how to feel about anything anymore. Not until it finally came crumbling down all around him in waves of desperate and unstoppable grief.

Zenitsu hadn't seen it coming. As far as his awareness went, he'd been following the pillar around in silence for hours; neither of them saying anything, and the younger occupying himself with gently patting the snake on his shoulder, but suddenly, out of the blue – his fingers... his fingers started shaking.

It was unnoticeable at first, but-

They shook so hard by the end, Zenitsu had to physically stop and curl them into fists for the shaking to subside. He breathed out and breathed in. Nothing, no air was getting into his lungs. He-

His chest hurt. His eyes stung and... gramps-senpai... they, he – he'd lost them, hadn't he? They were dead and, and he- He hadn't saved them. Hadn't saved _anyone. _

Taking a step back, his knees buckled. He barely caught himself on a tree before he could gracelessly face-plant onto the wet mud of the floor. Still-

_Gramps _

He buried gr-master. He'd buried him and he hadn't even said anything. He hadn't said a goodbye. He hadn't said . He just – And what about Kaigaku-senpai? He hadn't even found his body! Or at least whatever he found didn't even look like him anymore. Eaten and mutilated. His stomach lurched at the thought. Clamping a hand tightly over his mouth his eyes bulged.

'_She ate him,' _he thought. '_The demon ate my senpai till there was nothing left and – oh my God. Oh my God – ohmyGod.' _

"Agatsuma?"

They were dead! They were dead and he... He hadn't said anything. Nothing – he was never going to see them again and he-

"Agatsuma!"

Oh God. They were dead.

"Agatsuma! Kid!"

Zenitsu stumbled back; vision blurry and eyes leaking tears that wouldn't stop. He was going to- his stomach lurched again. Something dark, something sickening climbing up his throat and wedging itself firmly between his guilt and grief.

_He'd lost them all, hadn't he? _

The truth, the undeniable truth hit him like a mountain; right across the chest, and the blonde collapsed to his knees by the sheer force.

"Agatsuma!"

Vaguely registering the ghost of a hand on his shoulder, Zenitsu screwed his eyes shut and hurled. Everything he'd eaten that day; which wasn't much, splashing on the forest floor and making him even more nauseous. He didn't stop until he was only left heaving up nothing.

So now there he was. Arms bracing him from collapsing into his own sick and knees shaking from the effort it took to carry his useless weight.

A hand

A hand was rubbing circles into his back. He hadn't noticed... How long? Still-

It felt warm, comforting, honest – But... he didn't deserve comfort, he-

"Obanai-senpai?"

A breath of relief and then. "You with me brat?"

Maybe it was the tone, maybe because it was everything else. Maybe nothing at all, but for a second, he'd sounded like

Kaigaku-senpai.

Zenitsu pulled himself back on his knees; the older male carefully helping him so he could lean against the tree rather than sit without support.

When their eyes finally met, Obanai's face was blank, Zenitsu's was crushed. So, when the pillar let go of his shoulder and asked him an empty question that sounded like vague concern. Zenitsu gagged. The pillar froze.

The blonde gagged again.

"Are you going to throw up again?"

No, the answer was no, but... He gagged again. Fingers curling and uncurling and eyes dancing around wildly. He wasn't going to throw up, but... Clawing at the ground desperately and then bringing those dirty nails to his eyes, Zenitsu just stared at them.

"Gramps hands are getting dirty," he whispered; voice crooked and broken. "I have to get him out, I- I have to get them out. Gramps doesn't like to be dirty I, I have to get them out!"

Obanai-senpai's face crumbled, and Zenitsu didn't know why. It's not like they had days between themselves and the village? They could still go back. Besides, gramps would make them a really good chicken stew and maybe he would give Obanai-senpai a couple of pointers too! It's not like you were ever too old to learn right? He tells the pillar this, and two mismatched eyes stare back at him; unreadable.

"We can't do that Agat... Zenitsu." The words are careful, calm, understanding, yet firm.

Zenitsu doesn't think the older is getting him, so he says. "It's ok Obanai-senpai. I'm sure gramps will love to see you again."

Some kind of stillness comes over the pillar then. "I'm sorry Zenitsu. Kuwajima-san is dead. You know this."

Maybe, maybe he did.

He does.

He looks at Obanai-senpai, really looks at him. The older looks calm. Zenitsu envies that in him. Nothing is said between them for a while. The black-haired male taken the time to wipe his mouth with the edge of his own haori. Any other day, any other time, Zenitsu would have been shocked by the action. That someone else other than gramps-

But it's not any other day, so instead he gasps, he hiccups, and then he curls himself into a ball and screams.

Screams so loud he hopes gramps can hear him wherever he is. Hear how much Zenitsu was missing him. Hear his pain. He wished – he wished he could hear the dead. He could hear everything else, couldn't he? Thoughts and feelings and intentions and – why couldn't he hear the dead?

He screams and continues to scream, and Obanai-senpai never leaves his side. A gentle hand on his head and a comforting figure shielding him from the world.

**XXXXXX**

Zenitsu doesn't recover. Doesn't heal or feel better after that. He can't predict how much time has passed. Doesn't know how much distance they have put between themselves and between his family, and every time he thinks about it, it hurts. So, he shoves it into the back of his head and carries on. Mind foggy and body numb.

Obanai-senpai is the one dragging him forward; fingers gripping tight around the haori covering his arm. It's Obanai-senpai who forces food down his throat and it's Obanai-senpai that washes his hair and helps him put on his clothes. Zenitsu should feel ashamed, feel embarrassed to look so pathetic and weak in front of someone that's probably not that much older than him, but he can't seem to bother. Everyone is dead and if he lets himself feel that fact for even a second, Zenitsu was afraid he would crumble down all together. So, he lets his new senpai drag him around, let him clean him up, let him feed him, let him fold up his own haori to use it as a pillow for his empty head. Let him do everything. And he feels nothing.

The pillar doesn't complain, doesn't stay by his side unless strictly necessary either, and even the white snake has migrated from his shoulders and back to his master's. A brief flair of sadness skims under Zenitsu's heart, but it's quickly drowned out by the endless grief locked into his soul. So, he stares at his feet and says nothing.

He doesn't say anything, at least not until his veins start burning with something else other than grief. It comes as sudden as everything else in his life had so far. Unexpected and shocking. An all-consuming feeling that defies all logic and reasoning. A thirst for pain. A dream of punishment. A desire for nothing less than vengeance.

He's sitting there; legs pulled under him and face resting on his knees, when _it _burns him inside out. He couldn't get his family back, never again. He wouldn't ever see them smile or laugh or insult him. Never again.

But... he could give that demon the same treatment. Give her, her own never again(s).

Vengeance.

His eyes remain shut, but his hands stop shaking. For the first time since he'd found gramps.

_-Purpose- _

_-Vengeance - _

_-Payback- _

_-Death- _

It tasted good. It tasted sweet, and it made him breathe. Finally, it made him shut the whole screaming world out, and breathe.

So, when the sun rose to meet the sky again the next morning, Zenitsu stood up on his own before Obanai-senpai could make his way over to him. Catching the other male completely off guard. Zenitsu gave him a faint smile for that, shocking the pillar even more.

"Morning Obanai-senpai," he muttered.

It took the older man a second to compose himself, but when he did, he turned his back to the blonde and trekked his way over to the rock he'd been sitting on and took his previous place on it. "You're feeling better?"

It was a question, and it was not at the same time. It felt more like a test.

Zenitsu nods nonetheless.

"Good." Obanai-senpai is frowning now. "It's been three days brat. Three days of you being utterly useless. I would have left you if that had kept up."

The blonde flinches back; staring at the ground, fists clenched. "I'm sorry."

"You should be."

Every word out of the pillar's mouth makes Zenitsu feel smaller and smaller.

"Now, are you going to cause me anymore trouble brat?" He shakes his head; whatever resolve he'd come to, slowly crumbling under his feet.

"Good," his senpai says again. "Now let's go. We've wasted enough time as it is."

'_No,' _Zenitsu thinks desperately; lips quivering and eyes widening as the older male picks up his bag and starts walking._'It can't end here. He needs to listen to me. He needs to help me. I – I need to get stronger; I need help!' _

"Obanai-senpai!"

He shouts. Maybe he shouldn't have, but it's all he can do to find the courage to say what he wants.

The other man stops.

"I need you to train me! I want revenge!"

The pillar doesn't say anything for a while, and Zenitsu feels his stomach sinking._Maybe he was wrong after all. _But then the other finally speaks up.

"It looks like you have some guts after all," he says. "Very well. Training starts in an hour."

Zenitsu's lips widen into a giant smile and he lets out a tiny little noise of excitement that makes the pillar snort. The blonde flushes red and looks down, but he still can't get rid of the giddy feeling of finally having a direction to walk towards. Even if that direction is a bloody path that could lead him towards even more pain and suffering.

XXXXX

He blinked, and in a flash the butt end of a sword was slammed into his cheek, and Zenitsu was hitting the ground faster than he could formulate a single thought.

"Get up and do it again."

Groaning he sucked in a shallow breath; spat out a wad of blood and pushed himself slowly back on his feet. Raising his blade like he'd been instructed to so many times by both gramps and now Obanai-senpai, he grounded himself and moved to attack yet again.

A spin, a step and then another slam of the snake pillar's sword. This time hitting his ribs and sending him sprawling to the ground.

"Again."

Muttering less than pleasant insults under his breath; the thunder breath user forced himself to stand up. He didn't even get the chance to assume the correct stance this time, before Obanai-senpai had him eating ground.

"Again."

"I'm trying," he protested; biting back the frustrating tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn't afford to cry now. God knew Obanai-senpai hated when he cried. But- "I'm really trying senpai!" he pleaded; pushing himself to his feet. "I just don't know what any of this is doing to help me!"

The snake pillar glared at him; his mismatched eyes shining with clear and indisputable disgust. "If you haven't figured that out yet, you're even more hopeless than I thought."

And, ouch. That had hurt.

The older man most have seen the look on his face; the blonde not being able to mask it quickly enough, and that made the pillar sigh. Sheathing his sword, Obanai-senpai gave Zenitsu an assessing gaze. "You're an idiot, aren't you?" he finally said; nodding his head once as if he'd come to some kind of grand conclusion.

Zenitsu didn't like his tone, nor the insult. He frowned. "No, I'm not!" Wiping his eyes in frustration, he glared at the other man. "You're just not explaining anything, and I just don't understand what you want me to do!"

"I want you to listen, you moron! Listen to my actions, listen to my thoughts. Listen!" Obanai was now furiously pressing at his own head repeatedly, trying to emphasize his point as clearly as he could. "You have an extraordinary hearing, don't you? Use it."

"Oh."

"Exactly."

It was, it was quite obvious now that Zenitsu properly thought about it. And he hadn't even figured it out on his own. Biting his lip, he looked down. Shame coursing through his veins. He'd already lost a whole day with his useless fumbling and now less than three days were left before they arrived at the rest stop and – how was he going to convince Obanai-senpai to continue training him if he couldn't even master the basics, but still-

"Gramps never told me to do that?"

"He had another student. He probably didn't have the time to focus on anything more than you could handle." Each word was spoken with a sort of exasperated tone that made the blonde feel like he was nothing. It wasn't a pleasant experience. "Fortunately for you," Obanai continued. "I only have you."

Zenitsu's head shot up. He might have imagined it, but – he did have an amazing hearing, didn't he? And, it had sounded like, yeah – there had been something vaguely fond in the elder's words right then.

It made Zentisu feel warm inside, and maybe that's why he took his stance again, wiped away the blood trickling down his forehead and licked his busted lip in concentration.

_He was going to get this right. _

Closing his eyes, he tried to shut off all senses except for his hearing.

_He wasn't going to fail._

Everything melted away. He couldn't feel the cold metal between his grip. Not the unstable forest floor under his feet. Not the orange light trying to burst through his closed eyelids. Nothing. All he allowed himself to concentrate on was sound._'Listen,' _ he told himself._'Listen for the attack.' _

And there-

A swoosh of a sword, a wisp of clothing material and a soft intake of a breath.

Zenitsu moved, but – a thud, and he was on the ground again.

"Wa-" he choked holding his stomach; eyes tightly shut. "How?"

"Again."

His heart sank.

He really was nothing.

**XXXXXX**

Training doesn't go any better through the next days. It's nothing more than pain and disappointment. Zenitsu found himself countless times wanting to just curl up into a ball and cry. He'd thought that now that he had a direction, a goal, that maybe – just maybe he wouldn't be such a failure of a student anymore.

Maybe-

If Kaigaku-senpai had lived... He would have already been hunting down their killer, but here Zenitsu was, being a failure. Always a failure. Always.

When a sob tore its way passed his lips, the blonde slammed a hand over his mouth to try and muffle the sound. Still, his teacher had heard.

"Stop crying brat," he said; quick, automatic, exasperated. "I told you not to cry in front of me. Go do that pathetic act somewhere else."

Fair enough.

But it didn't make those cruel words hurt any less. Sometimes, it felt like Kaigaku-senpai's ghost was still hunting him through Obanai-senpai.

"Then get back here and eat. Wouldn't do me any good if you just collapsed. You need to take care of yourself better, brat"

And sometimes; his lips curl up the slightest bit as he turns away from his teacher to walk away. Sometimes it was gramps ghost moving in the gruff mannerism of Obanai-senpai.

Still, time runs out in the end.

Standing in front of the giant gates of the rest stop. Wisteria trees casting giant shadows over them, Zenitsu knows his time is up. Knows that after Obanai-senpai get sufficient amount of rest here, after he sends whatever information he said he would, the older man would leave, and would leave him behind.

And he couldn't even protest.

It's not like he had proved anything. A whole week, and what did he have to show for it?

Listen, his teacher had said time and time again. Listen to my actions, but don't forget to be aware of your own surroundings, and still – still he wasn't able to make a lick of progress.

He was sure Obanai-senpai felt relieved to get rid of him.

It made something in his stomach lurch with agony. It took a moment for him to realize what the feeling was.

Disappointment. Disappointment that he'd managed to let someone else down yet again.

* * *

*Holds up hands* please don't kill me! I know Obanai comes across like a jerk right now (Pretty much reminding Zenitsu about Kaigaku in a way), but Obanai has never been the kind of character that minces his words, and I don't think he would change that quickly on a dime. Still, action does speak louder than words sometimes, and if you pull apart his words and his actions, they do paint vastly different pictures, and Zen would most likely realize it soon enough. Just like Obanai would grow as a person too.

As for Zenitsu. Sorry folks. I want him to just become an avenging badass who is super talented and will impress Obanai and everyone else, but that simply isn't true to his character. Zenitsu is really really talented. But he has a lot of self doubt and fears that stop him from reaching his potential and even understanding how amazing he is, and I don't want to just skip over that and make him great just because he's grieving. Zenitsu will grow of course, but I'll take my time with it and do it right. Poor kid as a lot of disappointment ahead of him. But he's not running away anymore (to some extent) and that is a huge for him. Either way, hope y'all enjoy this chapter!


	4. Worth It

Obanai would be lying if he didn't say pure relief coursed through his veins at the sight of the mansion. It was as big and as welcoming as he remembered it to be, and the snake pillar found his shoulders unconsciously loosening as him and the kid looked up at the metal gates currently keeping them out.

With a soft creek and a light clicking noise, the metal bars protecting the estate from the outside world fell open; welcoming them in. For just a moment, Iguro almost reached behind him to grip the kid's haori like he'd been doing the first couple of hellish days in their journey, but thankfully stopped himself in time. The brat was fine. He could move on his own.

He'd been doing it for the past few days, hadn't he.

The snake pillar started walking without looking back, and after a momentary pause in-between, his ears registered the soft patter of familiar footsteps following behind him. A wisp of unrest flickering in his stomach subsided. Obanai didn't care to try and decipher the reason why.

Silently they made their way through the long trek up to the front doors, and before the pillar even had the chance to lift a hand to knock, a click was heard and both doors slide open. Revealing an old man with slightly crouched over figure, but the most kindest of smiles painting his lips.

Obanai couldn't help the slight curl of his own mouth to match the man standing in front of him. "Yamaura-san," he muttered; tone tilting up in warmth. "It's good to see you again."

The old man reached out to touch his arm. Iguro let him, and when the old man's smile widened even further, the snake pillar found himself covering the wrinkled fingers with his own dirty palm.

"It's been too long," Yamuara-san muttered. "Welcome back Iguro-sama."

Frowning, Iguro pats the old hand twice, before gently scolding his friend. "It's Obanai," he huffs. "I thought we agreed to drop the formalities." Yamaura-san's eyes-only twinkle with mirth and a short nod of his head indicates he's only agreeing as not to upset him. Obanai just shakes his head in amusement and allows himself to be led into the mansion; the kid following close behind. The brat had yet to say anything after their last training, which was approximately six hours ago. The pillar would have been concerned if he'd cared enough about the kid in the first place. He didn't, so he wasn't.

"Who is your little companion?" Yamaura-san asks as he leads them through a series of corridors and down a series of more.

"He's Kuwajima-san's former student. Sadly Kuwajima-san passed away during a demon attack, so I brought the kid here to be cared for till further arrangements can be made." He says all this with a straight face and a slight frown shadowing his mouth. For some reason, the decision isn't bringing him the relief he thought it would.

No matter, he had accomplished what he'd set out to do and now it was up to Yamaura-san and his wife to take care of the rest.

"I see," his old friend hums. "Then it is good that you brought him here Iguro-sama. I promise me and my wife will take good care of him." Here he turns around to look back at them both; eyes focusing on the kid standing slightly behind him. Yamaura-san's smile is gentle. "You have nothing to be scared of anymore child," he says. "You are safe here."

From the corner of his eye, Obanai sees the kid nod. A tiny jerky movement of his head, but it was a deliberate action to confirm he was listening and was understanding. That's more than Iguro had hoped the kid was capable off in his current zoned out condition.

It looked like he hadn't fallen back into his old catatonic state then.

Muscles that the pillar didn't even know were tense, slowly relaxed in his body, and the snake pillar breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

"Good good," the old man mumbled, turning around to walk ahead of them again.

Nothing else is said between all parties until they reach a large white room that is from wall to wall decorated with all types of medical equipment.

Obanai's eyes grow soft at the sight. Of course, the old man was worried. He always was.

"I'm fine Yamaura-san," he says, even as he allows his friend to lead him by the arm over to a lady clad in white; waiting patiently by a hospital bed.

"Let us determine that for ourselves," Yamaura-san fires back. Going over to Zenitsu and leading him over to the other bed by the window. "I would feel much better knowing you're both ok if I hear it from a qualified medical professional, Iguro-sama. Now if you will allow these doctors to take a look at you both, I would be entirely grateful."

He'd never managed to say no to Yamaura-san or his wife before and Obanai was certain he wasn't about to manage that feat now, so he keeps his mouth shut and let the lady examine his wounds.

Nodding in satisfaction, the old man gives them both one last warning look before walking out the door. "I'll make sure to inform Fuyuko to prepare two adjacent rooms for you both"

With those final words, he disappeared around the corner and left his visitors in the hands of his staff.

XXXXX

The kid's examination was done and over with faster than Obanai could get out of his outer clothes. And although that was a relief. Said feeling of _finally having something go his way, _quickly goes down the drain as the face of his doctor becomes more and more sour with each untended injury she discovers on his body. "Honestly you slayers," she grumbled; cleaning up the shallow cut under bruised ribs. "It's a wonder you lot don't just keel over by yourself without the help of a demon."

Obanai opted to keep his mouth shut during the whole rant. It wouldn't do to protest his innocence when this woman was currently holding a needle to his arm; stitching up a deeper and almost festering cut that she'd spent the better part of five minutes cleaning. But nothing compares to the utmost horror carved across her face when her attention is finally directed towards his leg.

"Dear God," she whispered, slowly taking in what she later called almost too infected to save. "What are you kids doing to yourself out there."

The snake pillar had closed his eyes at this point. Relaxing to the best of his abilities as he let his mind drift to the objectives he had to accomplish; while his wounds were currently being treated. He'd refused any sort of pain numbing medications, and even if his skin burned at every prod and piercing of the needle, he was still relieved that his mind was still his to control during the whole procedure.

**XXXXXX**

Eventually he was let out. He was however, not let go until he had suffered through an earful of not putting any unnecessary pressure on his right leg. "You could have lost it," Hanako-san had said; the barely visible wrinkles by her eyes deepening in worry. "You need to be careful or I won't be able to do anything next time."

Obanai nods; a cane supporting most of his weight. "I understand Hanako-san. Thank you." The gratitude comes out flat, but the doctor doesn't seem to mind all that much, only giving him a hard stare, before finally nodding and opening the door for him.

"Well then," she says. "You're free to go for now. But please do check in with me tomorrow and try not to aggravate your fractured ribs either."

He hums in agreement and tilts his head towards the door at the brat, indicating that it was time to go. The kid had barely made any sound the whole time they'd been here. Choosing instead to sit silently by the corner as Obanai's examination was carefully being conducted. The only time he'd looked up was when the older had hissed loudly in pain when the alcohol had been applied to his infected leg. The utter paleness of the kid's face had made the pillar make a visible effort to bite back his pain even when he'd wanted to curse out loud and snap at everyone and everything. The brat didn't need any more trauma added to his current pile of issues. God knew Obanai couldn't handle another three days of wondering whether the kid would ever recover from the vegetative state he'd been in.

The demon slayer's gut twists at the memory of those days. Of those unseeing blank eyes.

As long as he kept the idiot from ever going back to_ that_, Obanai would allow himself the chance to pretend he hadn't yet let down Kuwajima-san.

"Let's go kid," he ordered; hobbling with all the grace of a wounded animal as he slowly made his way towards where he hoped Yamaura-san and Fuyuko were waiting for them.

Zenitsu hopped down from the bed where he'd been swinging his legs back and forth absentmindedly and; with his head down, trudged of silently after him.

They find Fuyuko by herself in the kitchen. "Iguro-sama," she exclaims; brightening up nine times more than should be humanly possible, as she shuffles over to him and wraps her frail arms around his waist "Dear boy," she mutters into his chest. "We have all missed you so much."

She doesn't let him reply; quickly letting go to embrace the kid behind him with the same vigor. "Oh, sweet child," she fuzzes; cupping the surprised Zenitsu by the cheek and looking at him up and down. "I heard about Jigoro-san. I'm so sorry hun." Each of her words felt as if it broke something lose within the kid, because by the time Fuyuko mentioned the old man, the kid's lips were quivering, and his eyes were glassy.

"You knew gramps?" he asks; words hitching in his throat and tears finally breaking free behind their barriers to roll down his cheeks in waves of grief.

"Oh, my dear boy."

Fuyuko hugs him again, and it's as if_ that's_ exactlywhat the kid's been needing all this time, because Zenitsu sobs loudly and buries his face in the crook of the old lady neck; arms coming up to circle around her waist and shoulders shaking with uncontrollable grief.

It hurts, Obanai realizes then. It hurts for reasons he can't fully understand to see this kid suffer through so much pain because he hadn't been able to arrive even a week earlier. Hadn't been able to keep the kid's family together. He-

As he watches Fuyuko shush the brat with gentle words of love and kindness, he lets his eyes wander to his own arm resting lifelessly by his side and nods to himself.

He'd done the right thing. Bringing Zenitsu here.

It was the right thing to do.

Leaving him here.

Fuyuko and Yamaura-san would take care of him, he knew they would.

Turning around, he walks out of the kitchen to find his old friend.

It wasn't his place to intrude upon their moment of shared grief. He had business to conduct and messages to send out before he left for his next mission. Before he left Zenitsu behind.

**XXXXXX**

He's in his room, finishing up detailed analysis about the unusual massacre that took place in Zenitsu's village for Oyakata-sama, when he hears a soft knock coming from his door.

"Come in," he calls out; quickly noting down his thoughts about the upper moon demon, what he'd concluded about her and her abnormal her behaviour and what that might mean in the grand scheme of things.

A blonde head pops through the gap between the door and the wall. Obanai can see him from the corner of his eye, and so doesn't turn around to look at him. The kid fidgets in place for a couple of seconds, before finally deciding to say anything of note.

"Obanai-senpai?"

Briefly the snake pillar wonders why he's letting the kid call him by his first name so casually, but he pushes the thought aside for another day, and continues to write; letting out a soft hum to indicate he was listening.

"Um," the kid mumbles; clearly nervous by the way he's yet to fully step into the room. "Fuyuko-chan told me to tell you that di... that dinner is ready?" It comes out as more of a question than a statement, and Obanai contemplates calling him out on his indecisiveness, but dismisses it just as quick.

It looked like the kid had somehow managed to break out of his shell for the time being. It wouldn't do to push him right back in. So-

"I'll be there in a few," he says; not taking his eye from the paper in front of him. The kid lingers for just a second longer, before excusing himself quickly and scuttling away. Realizing Obanai wasn't about to say anything else to him.

Sighing, the snake pillar jots down a couple more words, but not wanting to offend Fuyuko and Yamaura-san, he puts everything away soon enough and dragging himself back on his feet; careful not to aggravate his injured right leg.

When he finally arrives at the dining hall, all parties are seated and waiting for him. Bowing to them in short apology, he takes his place across Zenitsu and puts his hands on his lap. Fuyuko is already filling up plates for everyone. She's currently mounting heaps of food on the kid's plate, and Obanai isn't paying too much of an attention to it all, when he spots the light grimace that passes over the kid's face. Turning around to look at Fuyuko again, he sees her adding seeded rolls onto the kid's plate. _'Looks like the kid doesn't like it,'_ he thinks absentmindedly, watching the blonde barely keep the expression of disgust off his face.

Obanai would have been almost amused by the kid's dilemma, if he didn't sympathize with the kid when it came to those abominations. He didn't like them much either and Fuyuko had never figured out that he'd been forcing himself to eat the rolls for weeks, while he'd lived with them.

Now the kid was going to suffer through the same horrifying experience, unless-

When all the plates are served, and all the seeded rolls are distributed to the four occupants around the dining table, Obanai takes a deep breath, steels himself and without allowing himself the chance back down, reaches across the table with his chop sticks and pilfers three out of the four rolls from the brat's plate.

The blonde stares at him in surprise and Fuyuko frowns at him in disapproval; not voicing her opinion despite clearly wanting to. The expression eases of her face however, when Obanai takes some of the meat and rice of his own plates and dumps them into the kid's.

That should do it.

He doesn't say anything else. Just takes of his bandages; making sure to have them right next to him – fingers resting atop of them to keep any old memories from resurfacing, as he takes his first bite out of the abomination of a roll.

Chewing with jaw locked, Obanai looks up and sees a sort of happy little smile dancing across the kid's face as he chews on the extra meat on his plate, and-

Swallowing down the dry thing in his mouth, the pillar licks his lips and takes another bite.

He could do this. He'd done it before.

So what if he was eating more of these things than all the other times before? Iguro could handle it, and maybe - maybe seeing the kid look just the tiniest bit happier; sitting there, across the table made it kind of worth it in the end.

Maybe.


	5. Sleep

Obanai leaves the kid in the kitchen to help Fuyoko clean up. He might have volunteered too, but just the sight of food, any kind of food – made his stomach flip and his gut convulse. Damn those rolls.

So, with a quick goodnight to the masters of the house, he finds himself dragging his feet back to the bedroom set up for him.

It's specious enough that he doesn't find himself – suffocating? Obanai isn't quite sure, but he does know that he is still capable of breathing in here, and with the wall long windows decorating one side of his room, he knew that darkness was too far away to touch him.

Now that exhaustion from days of fighting for his life and exhaustion from weeks of mental strain had begun to sink in, he didn't have the strength anymore to keep his dirties memories perfectly locked up in their tiny little boxes at the back corner of his subconsciousness, so this; this would do for now. He would move to a better room tomorrow. One better protected. But for now, this is what he needed.

The Yamauras' knew him too well.

Sighing, he sits himself carefully by the low table; picking up writing his letter from where he'd stopped previously and immerses himself back in the details of his designated mission as well as his unexpected one.

When Obanai done, he puts the sealed letter carefully by the lamp, and starts to take off his outer clothes. He's tired, he knows that, so sleep was the best option for refueling his depleting resources. Still-

As Iguro begins to lie down on his already made futon; he contemplates for a second if he should check in on the kid. He'd probably come back from the kitchen by now, and – he... the snake pillar frowns; mouth turning down at the corners under the clean white bandages.

The brat hadn't been alone ever since the massacre. Was it wise to just leave him alone? Just like that?

Shaking his head with a bit more vigor than ultimately necessary, the pillar scowls in contempt as he starts unwrapping the white cloth hiding his face. 'I_ don't need to keep worrying about the kid,' _he tells himself; tone scolding as if he needed to remind himself of his own place in this little equation he was writing. 'He_ has the Yamauras' now. They'll check in on him if needed. He's not my business anymore.' _

Lying down; fingers still gripping at the white fabric, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, holds it – then lets it out in one fell swoop.

The brat was fine.

And Obanai most have truly been tired; exhaustion, pain and stress catching up to him all at once because before he knows it, he's out like a light.

Obanai's eyes snap open.

Darkness greet his gaze and cold sweat dripples down his forehead to splatter soundlessly on his pillow.

He breaths.

Something had woken him up. He didn't know what. Kaburamaru had chosen to leave his side sometime during dinner, so it couldn't be him. Still, he was sure something had woken him up. Long honed skills did not lie. So, what was it?

It couldn't be danger. No, if it was he would already be up and reaching for his sword. Fighting demons for as long as he had, for as long as they all had, these types of instincts, they danced across their skin like a sixth sense.

This was different. This wasn't the same. So what was it?

His nerves are firing in all directions, his brows are furrowed in suspended anticipation and his lips feel too chapped and gnawed through with anxiety.

Closing his eyes; sweat trickling down them as a physical representation of emotions he can't fully decipher yet, Iguro takes a deep breath and holds it.

This... this all feels too familiar. He'd felt like this before. More than once he was sure of it. This gnawing ripples of skin tearing worry. He...

* * *

Obanai's eyes snap open again; now wide with poorly hidden worry.

He was up on his feet before he could even think, and out the door before the air held in his lungs could fully escape. In two seconds flat he was standing at the threshold of the kid's room; door swung open and light casting shadows over the figure on the ground.

Oh

Whimpering.

He couldn't fully make out the body on the futon, but he could clearly hear him. The kid was whimpering and trashing around where he lay. He was clearly having a nightmare. Ridiculous. This – this was what had bothered him?

Shaking his head, he turns back around and leaves as silently as he came. What the hell was wrong with him? Yes, these were his instincts. Obanai always reacted on instincts. It was as if his subconscious compensated for understanding the things he himself couldn't fully grasp yet, but-

He – the last time he'd woken up in cold sweat like this; mind screaming at him to get up, was when Mitsuri-san had been burning up with fever and he'd somehow managed to sooth away her nightmares, but... It wasn't the same. Hell, the time before that had been Rengoku; the idiot having been missing for days, not checking in.

Obanai hadn't been able to sleep a wink until he finally decided to just go look for him himself. To this day, Shinobu teases him about it. But he would have never taken it back – how he reacted, never. The idiot had needed backup. And the snake pillar had arrived just at the nick of time. God knew what would have happened if he hadn't arrived when he did.

Obanai wasn't sure he was willing to contemplate a world without the flame pillar in it just yet. Thankfully, it wouldn't happen. Not with how powerful the man had gotten as of late. Iguro himself was most likely to go long before Rengoku so much as got a scar on his stupid ridiculous face.

Shaking his head, he lets his forehead rest against his door.

Because that wasn't what was burning him inside right now, was it.

The question was, why had he woken up on behalf of the kid? Had it been a coincidence? Or instinct to protect?

A coincidence, he decides; standing in front of his own doors, eyes narrowed but ears still peeled for any sound that may reach him from the other room.

The kid needed to deal with his own issues. It was only natural to have nightmares. He'd suffered a lot through the past couple of weeks. He'd lost his whole family. He just needed time. There was nothing Obanai could do to fix that. _Nothing _he wanted to do to fix that. Mitsuri-san was different. She'd been sick, and – and she was his friend. His family. And, Rengoku had needed him too, so-

But – but then why couldn't he take the final step into his own room?

Growling in frustration, he threw his arms up in the air; grimacing slightly from the pain that briefly flares up from his ribs, as he; with resigned steps moves silently back over to the room next door.

Obanai should have known he'd eventually be infected by those two idiotic bleeding hearts in his life. That's the only reason why he was currently sneaking into the room of the brat he was literally about to abandon in less than two days.

God, he was pathetic.

"Brat," he hisses; sliding down on the floor next to the futon. "Brat wake up. It's just a nightmare."

Nothing.

Of course it could never be that easy.

He's just about to reach out to shake the kid awake; not liking the paleness of his skin nor the silent tears leaking down his cheeks when-

"Please, please don't! I... Please! Don't do this, please. Gramps! Don't! Kai - No, stop! Please!" A sob, and then the kid curls into himself; curls into a tight ball very reminiscent off that_ day and_ Obanai - Obanai can't take it anymore.

Without thinking, he reaches out and places one solid hand on the kid's shoulder._ He can hear me. He told me that he can hear important words, even in his sleep.' _is the only thought that passes through his head before he opens his mouth and breaths out the only words he can say with any level of certainty.

"I am Iguro Obanai. The snake pillar of the demon slayer corps and I am not weak. I will protect you Zenitsu Agatsuma. There is no need to be afraid. So sleep."

He can't promise much, but he can promise this. While he is here, while he's still around, he will protect this brat. Whether that is from a foe or from his own nightmares, it didn't really matter. He would do it all the same, and-

It looks to have worked, because in a matter of moments, the whimpering ceases, the tears stop and the kid uncurls himself just the tiniest bit and stops shaking. His breath evens out and his face relaxes.

Obanai observes him for a minute; hand still resting on one shoulder, but when the kid doesn't move any further; nightmares momentarily halted, he stands back up again; eyes briefly glancing over Kaburamaru's unmoving form, meeting his red gaze.

Ah, so this is where he was.

Iguro turns away and leaves.


	6. We Don't See Eye to Eye

Zenitsu had been here in this mansion for only two day, and he was already getting sick of it. There were too many hallways, too many stairs, too many doors and too many of too much of everything and it was annoying. Huffing in a barely contained irritation, he turned down another corridor; making sure that his hearing was still fully devoted to the soft whirling of the pond five floors below and out in the garden somewhere.

Filtering out the noises wasn't easy, and sometimes he just wanted to revert back to not using his keen hearing senses; in fact, he wanted to use them for other things beside training. Like making his way through this ridiculous maze of a mansion, but he couldn't. Not according to Obanai-senpai. He needed to train to get better, so with another heavy sigh, he made sure his ears were still tracking the calming waters bellow him as he slowly made his way down another flight of stairs.

A hissing sound disrupted his concentration and Zenitsu's head shot up. Ah, "Kaburamaru," he whispered; trying not to disrupt the sleeping servants on this floor "What are you doing here? Aren't you cold?" The snake only hisses again; curling tightly around himself in the tiny corner he had found comfort in.

Zenitsu's feet were prickling with the turning weather of the autumn season and his breaths was puffing out into white clouds, so he couldn't imagine Kaburamaru finding himself content in this dreadful temperature. "You're freezing aren't you," he mutters; quickly taking of his haori and sinking down onto his knees. "Here." Pale yellow eyes stare into his soul and Zenitsu swallows down his unease. He'd never fully felt comfortable with the snake, but Kaburamaru has always been kind to him so-

With another hiss, his new friend slithers on top of the patterned haori, and Zenitsu finds himself smiling down at him in relief before scooping the cloth and the reptile into his arms. "Let's get out of here ok?" A gentle hiss and a white head on his shoulder makes the blonde relax a bit more as he gets back on his feet. "I guess you were cold after all," he whispers; lifting two fingers to pat the snake while he begins to walk again. Kaburamaru shakes his head and ducks back into his arms, and Zenitsu laughs. It was funny how a reptile so scary looking could be so shy when it came to affection.

No more surprises greet the in-training demon slayer after that. And while he is keeping up a quiet chatter with the snake resting on his chest, the teen finally makes it down to the first floor and looks around. "Hungry?" he asks. Kaburamaru says nothing, and Zenitsu hums in thought. "I guess me neither." Frowning at the kitchen entrance one last time, he turns around to find Fuyoko-chan. If she was awake it would be fun to talk to her. They talked two days ago; it had been nice. Talking to her had felt like a weight coming of his shoulders. Fuyuko-chan had helped him remember the good times with gramps, hell even Kaigaku-senpai. And although it was late and most of everyone had gone to sleep, Zenitsu hoped he could find her still awake somewhere.

He doesn't find either masters of the house unfortunately and his shoulders fall in resignation. After looking for forever he's just about to give up on seeing another living soul awake in this empty like manor, when he unintentionally passes Obanai-senpai's room. He wouldn't have even noticed the fact, if Kaburamaru hadn't hissed low from his throat when they were about to pass the open door.

Zenitsu comes to an abrupt halt. Kaburamaru stills. The door was slightly ajar and try as he might, the teen couldn't hear anyone inside, and how could he. It was almost midnight. And Obanai-senpai was probably outside training again. He'd done it during their whole week journey to this facility, and things weren't probably different for him now either, which meant-

He shouldn't, but Zenitsu still finds himself gently pushing the door open and peeking in. "Oh," he breaths as his gaze immediately zeroes in on the already packet bag and cleaned up room. Obanai-senpai was ready to leave any minute now and he hadn't even said anything to him yet.

'_Of course, he hasn't,' _his thoughts whisper back viciously._'You're pathetic and a failure. Obanai-senpai doesn't have to tell you anything because you're not worthy.' _

It's not a pleasant thought, but Zenitsu would be lying to himself if he said it didn't ring true. The pillar didn't owe him anything. Still-

Frowning, he slams the door shut and stomps off. Sure Obanai-senpai didn't owe him anything, but that didn't mean he shouldn't have the common decency to tell it to his face. Zenitsu knew he was going to be left behind, but couldn't Obanai-senpai show him even a hint of respect and just tell him straight up? It's not like he had _promised to_ train him or anything?

For some reason; chest heaving and face flushed red, it bothers him that a man he barely had gotten to know is about to just drop him and leave him behind. And for some reason, it hurts.

His temper tantrum of a walk leads him outside and-

"_Breath of The Serpent Second Form: Venom Fangs of the Narrow Head!" _

The one person he hadn't wanted to see.

The snake pillar looks elegant as he moves around the garden; sword held firmly between his fingers and breath steady as he meticulously runs through forms and compensates for his injured leg by barely putting any pressure on it.

He looks like art. He sounds strong. He moves like a demon slayer.

Watching him; even despite his injuries, move like he was born with a sword in his hands makes Zenitsu feel small where he stands; barely hidden behind the doorframe. He's still holding Kaburamaru in his arms, but the familiar weight of the sword on his hip suddenly draws all his focus away from the self-pity in his gut and instead begins to burn viciously at his side. Burn as if it was mocking him for his weakness, for his lack of talent.

Obanai-senpai never turns around to look at him; still going through the motions and keeping his eyes firmly faced forward, but his legs do shift when Zenitsu ducks down out of sight when the other man swings his sword too close to the door and his breath does stutter when Zenitsu lets out a surprised yelp; showing that he is indeed aware of the blonde's presence. Still, he doesn't call out to him. Doesn't ask him to get out and train, and it makes Zenitsu grit his teeth, blink away the wetness in his eyes and stalk away from the older man.

He didn't need Obanai-senpai to teach him how to fight. He could learn it all on his own. So what if the pillar hadn't asked him to train with him each time he'd stumbled across him practicing? So what if he hadn't so much as acknowledged his presence during meal times? So what? He'd probably already given up on him and wasn't ready to actually tell it to Zenitsu's face and well, that just made Obanai-senpai even more pathetic than himself, the blonde decided. Gramps always said to show people a certain level of respect even if you didn't think they deserved it, and clearly Obanai-senpai wasn't even capable of that.

Not only was he going to leave him, but he wasn't even going to train him while he was still here?

"Screw him," he muttered; bringing the white snake closer to his chest. "I don't need his useless training anyways."

"Is that why you have yet to join me in practice?"

Zenitsu jumped, and screamed, and almost dropped poor Kaburamaru on the floor; making the snake hiss and climb up his shoulders in a flash. Swiveling around, he gaped at the demon slayer who had been standing behind him, arms crossed, and one eyebrow lifted to the sky. "Well?"

Zenitsu was still trying to push his heart back into its former place where it had jumped out of in fear. "You scared me," he shouted

"Another reason why you'll make a terrible demon slayer, but what else is new."

"What?" Unconsciously, he'd taken a small step back. Something his senpai clearly noticed, because it made his nose scrunch up and his head tilt down in disapproval.

"I have given you several chances to come and join my training on your own, but you're clearly not capable of making important decisions when left alone kid, so let's go. I don't wish to waste more time on you." He beckons with his fingers as he turns away; almost expecting Zenitsu to just obediently trot along after him and maybe Zenitsu would have done so, but not today.

"I won't make a terrible demon slayer!" He said loudly instead; hands curled into balls and lips wobbling slightly. "Gramps said I would be great."

Obanai-senpai scoffs. He doesn't even look back at him; continuing to walk as if Zenitsu wasn't even worth his attention. "Kuwajima-san was too soft on you. I'm not here to sugarcoat anything for you Agatsuma. I will train you but I won't tell you what a great job you've done when that's clearly a lie."

It was as if his very own soul was being stricken down with the sharp side of a sword.

"If you were going to train me, why didn't you just tell me so!" Maybe this whole argument was stupid, maybe it was ridiculous in the large scheme of things, but Zenitsu didn't care. Clearly Obanai-senpai wanted to pick a fight and good for him, because that's exactly what Zenitsu wanted too.

This time the snake pillar does turn around; glare firmly in place. Easy to spot even in the darkness only illuminated by the lights. "I don't have to ask you for anything," he said slowly; taking one and then two steps in Zenitsu's direction. "You wanted me to train you, you show up and train. It's that simple. Or," his eyes narrow. "Do you expect me to run after you each time you decide you're not good enough?"

Zenitsu stumbles. "I-"

An image of gramps flashes through his head. Gramps who constantly dragged him back by the scruff of his neck every time he'd tried to run away. Gramps ran after him.

"I- that's... I-"

"Speak clearly brat."

"It's-"

[_Do you expect me to run – do you expect me to run after – do you expect me to run after you _]

His eyes water and his teeth shatter noisily. Almost as if ice had been breathed into his lungs and fire had been set to his feet. Obanai-senpai didn't know. He didn't know what those words ment so he couldn't have understood. He couldn't have and yet. "I never asked you to do that," he whispers; legs shaking and fingers clutching at an empty haori.

"No you didn't." The pillar relents. "That doesn't mean you're not running away. It doesn't prevent the fact that you're retreating whenever the going gets tough and that," he points a finger at his chest. "Is what is going to prevent you from becoming a demon slayer."

Obanai-senpai was talking to him like a child. Like someone who didn't understand the stakes of his own decision, of his own revenge. He wasn't taking him seriously.

'_Probably why he was planning on leaving me behind.' _

Hell, Zenitsu was almost sure all this was actually only an excuse for the man to wash his hands of him once and for all. Drop him off with Fuyuko-chan and her husband and walk away. All this pointed advance, it all meant nothing.

It all made sense now.

Excuses excuses.

His heart pounded and Zenitsu felt his rage mounting, burning, consuming.

Excuses.

"You don't want to help me," he hissed; voice barely above a whisper, but Obanai-senpai had heard him loud and clear for his face twisted into a pale imitation of a surprise.

Yeah right.

"Stop talking nonsense brat."

"It's true isn't it?"

"Kid."

"You are going to leave me behind, so what does it matter if I don't show up to your stupid training!"

The snake pillar doesn't miss a beat. "If you want to stay alive, you train. It's that simple. Revenge might not be in the cards for yo-"

"You weren't going to help me?" Zenitsu didn't know why he went there. He didn't know why he reached that specific conclusion, but it all made sense to him now. Why those words out of Obanai-senpai's mouth felt like earth shattering under his feet. "You weren't going to help me get revenge for my family, were you?"

Obanai-senpai blinks slowly. "I was at first," he finally says; after a momentary silence. "But it's clear you're not ready for that yet. So-"

"You never planned to help me?" He can't seem to let it go. That one thing. That defining thing.

The snake pillar sighs in exasperation; almost as if this whole situation is getting on his nerves. It makes Zenitsu's insides bubble with rage.

"I am helping you kid-"

Maybe those words.

_Help _

Maybe _that _word, was what blew the lid of off Zenitsu's sanity, because from one breath to the next, he chucked his haori with all his might at the man in front of him and screamed at the top of his lungs. "If you really wanted to help me! You would have saved gramps and Kaigaku on _time_! You would have saved everyone! But you didn't! You didn't! And I hate you! What's the point of you being a pillar if you can't even do that!"

"I hate you!"

He screams those words over and over again until hot tears are streaming down his cheeks and until Obanai-senpai has turned around and vanished into the house. "I hate you," he screams at the top of his lungs and doesn't mean it.

Not really.

It takes a while for him to calm down. No one comes out to talk to him and he's grateful, if only a little. Obanai-senpai doesn't come back out either. Zenitsu doesn't really blame him.

Standing back up, he starts walking; aimlessly and unsure. His whole-body aches and his mouth feels dry and raw. He keeps walking.

"I was a jerk, wasn't I," he finally murmurs after walking for an hour or so; eyes trailing down the silent trees, face pinching up into an upset frown. "I was mean."

Kaburamaru hisses, and Zenitsu's face falls.

"I hate him," he whispers; the wind carrying his words and leaving him with nothing. "And he hates me too."

The snake doesn't say anything back to that; just curls tighter around his neck and falls still.

Zenitsu mimics the reptile and drops to his knees under a tree; the mansion no longer visable from where his hiding himself under the shadows of the forest. "I wish you were here gramps. I really really wish you were here"

He falls silent after that. Arm folded around his legs and face hiding in his knees. He is so preoccupied with his own misery he doesn't really hear anything, nothing until it's almost too late.

The rustling tree leaves behind him are Zenitsu's only warning before a sharp scream is torn from his lungs and he throws himself arms first into the forest floor and rolls away from the black nails aimed at his eyes.

Blood trickling down his neck, he gurgles down the horrified screams trying to lash out from his throat and jumps back as the demon; for it could be nothing else takes a giant leap towards him and swings his arms at him again. He's barely able to dodge this second blow; not even having a chance to reach for his sword as he lifts a shaking hand up to his left ear and comes away with a sticky red mess and some twisted flesh on the palm of his hand.

Kaburamaru hisses and Zenitsu looks at him with worry. If he is hurt then-

But thankfully the snake has relocated himself to his right side and nothing more than a slight gash of red indicates how close his new friend had gotten to getting slashed in two.

"Demon slayer," the giant of a demon chuckles. "It's time to die."

* * *

**Hi Guys!**

**So we're back with Zen again. And oh boy. I feel it was about time Zenitsu lashed out at someone. He's been in denial, he has grieved (sorta) and at this point his emotions are so all over the place it's no wonder he would throw the first accusation he had at Obanai's face. Plus, Obanai is really not good with words. And I wanted it to hurt. The "why didn't you save them if you are a pillar." was meant to sting and I wanted it to sort of reflect that moment when Giyu (in episode 1) told himself that if he'd just come quicker Tanjirou's family would have been alive. I was thinking that that's probably something demon slayer's always hate themselves for, so for Zenitsu to say that, well ouch for Obanai. And boom; y'all didn't think I was just going to let them recover in peace now did you ;) A demon!**


	7. Never Give Up

One hand was painted red, one arm was carrying the weight of an injured snake and two eyes were staring down death itself, and there was nothing Zenitsu could tell his legs to convince them move an inch. He was locked in place. Not by a spell, not by some trap, but by sheer and utter terror. He couldn't move; Kaburamaru was hissing furiously into his right ear, but-

How hadn't he noticed. The mansion. It was long out of sight. He'd walked away, walked for almost an hour. Of course, he was outside the wisteria tree limit. Why hadn't he - even the colors, they were different. It had been too dark, but he should've noticed. He should have noticed, damn it!

"Scared little slayer?"

The giant had a surprisingly skinny voice and Zenitsu would have laughed at the weirdness of the thin voice coming out of such a burly figure, if death itself wasn't trapped in his lungs, so all he could do was whimper with fright and stumble back.

"Don't worry tiny," the demon guffs. "I'll kill you and feast on you real quick. I'm real generous like that." He grins and then he's moving again; knees bent in a weird running formation and fingertips touching the grass bellow and he's off.

Zenitsu barely has breath between two blinks before he is; without much thinking, throwing himself under the arm swung at him to slice of his head and rolling back onto his feet a couple of steps away from the demon.

He doesn't even get the chance to calm his stammering heart down however, before a shadow falls over him again and pain blooms like burning stakes across his chest. Gasping he stumbles back; arm circling his torn open chest and eyes wide and swimming in tears.

He was going to die.

He was going to die, wasn't he?

Not a moment longer and he's again getting slammed with twice his weight across his chest and, he hears something snap, and then he's flying headfirst into the nearest tree in the area. Zenitsu has barely any reason or logic left in his brains at this point, the pain having washed it all away, but thankfully... Maybe it's instinct? He finds himself without thinking; swinging his body around and just in time protecting his skull with the back end of his right shoulder.

Gagging at the momentary throb of pain that writhes through his flesh, Zenitsu is up and running again long before his mind has even caught up to his body. Survival instincts mixed with sheer and utter fear coursing through his veins and it's all the blonde can do to keep a lid on his emotions as he runs and runs and screams at the top of his lungs for someone, for anyone to please come and save him. Gramps is the only name tumbling out of his mouth as he zigzags through the tall shadowy trees. But- "Obanai-senpai!" He once screams; blood and tears spilling down his face. "Obanai-senpai! Please!"

He doesn't know for how long he runs; he only knows that he's running away from the safety of the wisteria trees and away from the monster, and it both terrifies him and makes him want to run for all of eternity.

Zenitsu doesn't stop until he can't hear the chill inducing laughter of the demon anymore, and only then does he crumble under a tree and shakes with such lack of control that Kaburamaru eventually slithers of his body and just stares at his wide-eyed figure. Zenitsu doesn't care. He doesn't care because he knows he's going to die, and they are both going to die and no one will come to save them and he was bleeding, of course the demon would find him and – and – and he was going to_ die_.

Grabbing at his hair with both fists, he tugs and tugs and chews his lips raw as waves of tears spill down his bruised cheeks. "I can't do this Kaburamaru!" He mumbles; voice stuttering in his throat and face so ashen and grey it makes the blood stand out stark against his skin. "We're going to die. We're going to die and I can't do anything. Oh God. Oh God. OhGodohGodohGod. Why did I walk away," now his ramblings aren't even above a whisper anymore; sounding both thick and terrifyingly thin. "Is this karma? Am I going to die because I lived and everyone else suffered and-"

Burying his head in his knees, his shoulders shake, and his clammed-up lips are barely holding back a sob.

A roar is heard in the distance and Zenitsu's whole body freezes. Holding his breath; eyes staring at his legs, he listens. The roar, it's drawing nearer and nearer and-

This... This was it. It was all over. He – he was going to die. By the hands of some lower ranked demon and fuck revenge. He hadn't even made it a month without gramps, how pathetic was that. How sad.

Another roar. This one much closer.

He hadn't even gotten the chance to apologize to Obanai-senpai. Why the hell had he been so mean in the first place? It's not like senpai wouldn't have saved everyone if he could. He had known gramps too and... He'd saved him right? So, with a hiccup Zenitsu buries his face even further into his knees. He'd walked away too far. No one was going to find him out here. Alone and afraid and soon to be dead.

Tears started flowing all over again and damn it. How pathetic.

A roar.

He flinches. At least he was going to reunite with gramps and Kaigaku-senpai and-

_[NEVER GIVE UP] _

It was as if an electric current suddenly jolted into every nerve in his body and sent it ablaze.

_Gramps _

_[NEVER GIVE UP] _

How could he just-

Clenching his fists and gritting his teeth, Zenitsu tried to steady his erratic breathing. Gramps had said... He had said that it was ok to run away it was ok to cry but – to give up? Gramps had never taught him that and-

Raising a shaky arm to his eyes, Zenitsu rubbed away the wetness as best as he could and took a deep and steading breath.

It was only one demon. It didn't look all that powerful and he'd been training. Training with Obanai-senpai. He was going to be a demon slayer and avenge his family and make Obanai-senpai proud so, how could he lose here?

This was his story wasn't it? His mission. His life. What kind of hero died in the prologue?

"We're going to be fine Kaburamaru-san. You're going to be ok." Reaching out with a poorly wiped away red finger, he pets the snake head gently. "I'm not going to let you die. I'm sorry I scared you like that." If his finger is shaking as he does this, if his voice wobbles as he speaks, Kaburamaru doesn't let him know, only nuzzles into the palm of his hand and hisses. Almost as if to say-

Zenitsu grins; teeth coated with dirt and flecks of blood. "Yeah, I'll be fine. But-" Here he rises back up to his feet, using the tree as a support, knowing the shallow cuts running diagonally from his hip and up to his right shoulder are making his vision blurry, he tries his hardest to blink away the dizziness and sharpen his senses.

The demon is still drawing near. He was close now. Too close.

"I need you to hide Kaburamaru-san. You can't come with me."

The snake doesn't seem to like that idea at all, but Zenitsu is determined this time and his friend seems to sense that, because he puts his head down and hisses softly. "I'm sorry," the blonde mutters in apology; scooping the snake up and lifting him to the nearest branch; wincing as he does so. "I wish I could hide here with you too. I really really do."

With his friend securely hiding behind the leaves of the enormous tree, Zenitsu finally takes the time to look over his injures; they are painful, but his speed had allowed the wounds to be shallow at best, and with another steadying breath, he finally circles his hand around his sword hilt and drags it out.

Balancing the sword between his palms he shifts on his feet. The only thing he hadn't let himself look at was his ear. He knew that - shaking his head, he banished that thought to the back of his mind. Some of it was still there, that's all he could focus on right now, so-

He could do this.

Till Obanai-senpai came to his rescue. Till Kaburamaru was safe. He could do this.

So his legs move this time, and he is running.

Not away from the danger, but towards it. Towards the demon who'd promised him death.

Still, no amount of diluted bravery was going to make him confront a psycho demon head on, so with a determined glint in his eyes, he crouches down low and pushes off the ground with all his might; hanging in the air for less than a split second, before he descends down on a treetop, pulling himself behind its shadows to await his hunter.

The demon doesn't disappoint. Showing up just a second after Zenitsu had disappeared in the leaves. "I can smell you baby slayer," he whistles. "Come out so I can eat you!"

Zenitsu doesn't want to. He's scared. He can't hide that fact from himself. Not when his body is still vibrating with barely contained terror and his sword is clinking to its hilt because of his shaking hand, and yet, the demon is almost directly below him. Failing to act now would be-

He doesn't want to, but then gramps warm smile flashes through his head and it slowly morphs into the mutilated corpse of the man he once knew.

Teeth clenching to the point of creaking, the grieving boy drops down from the sky, sword swinging down in a sharp motion and mouth drawn into a sneer of hatred.

Reckless for sure, but when he brings down the sharp side of his trusted blade at the demon's neck, all he could see was red. Red blood, red rage, red vengeance.

Red.

The demon screams and it almost tears Zenitsu's eardrops apart. Listen. Obanai-senpai had said. Time and time again. Even flicking him harshly on the forehead whenever he caught him slacking off, well now that needed skill almost burned his ears out permanently. And the blonde is quick to swallow down the bile swimming in his throat as he shuts all his senses down and jams the sword even further into the demon's neck.

"Cut," he hisses; tears already leaking from both corners of his eyes. "Cut damn it! Please cut."

But it doesn't and again, he's gripped by the scruff of his neck and flung headfirst into a tree. It's all Zenitsu can do to grabble for his sword and thankfully drag it out of the beast's neck but that costs him his focus and he slams harshly into the tree.

The world tilts out of view for a second and then comes back.

Thank God.

Chopping someone's neck halfway did make their aim and strength slightly off.

Zenitsu doesn't have enough time to contemplate that fact however, not when claws are darting for his face and he blinks in panic; swinging himself behind the tree and ducking with a scream as barks fly everywhere. Tree now cut in half.

"Think you can take me brat!"

No, not really.

"I can and I will!" He screams at the top of his lungs; his eyes as wide as two dinner plates. "Please don't kill me!" He follows that declaration up with; throwing himself again out of the way. His speed being the only thing saving his uncertain and highly unguaranteed life now. "Please demon-san! Please!"

Why did he even think he could do this?

Running behind another tree, he climbs as high as he can. Only to jump into another one when it too was torn in half.

His only chance was gone, so what could he possibly-

_[NEVER GIVE UP!] _

"I know!" He screams. Why couldn't gramps just leave him alone!

He was going to die. Die die die die die.

But-

Pausing on top of a branch, Zenitsu stares at the terrifying being below him and thinks.

"If I'm going to die anyways," he mutters; tears still not having stopped falling. "Then I have nothing left to lose."

Blinking down at his sword his lips draw into a thin line and he tries to pull out all the flecks of bravery left in his barren soul and concentrate. "Listen," Obanai-senpai had said. "Never forget to listen. If you do, you will be able to predict their moves long before they do them."

'_Listen.' _

Closing his eyes he does what he'd been doing all these days. But better. More concentrated. More focused. It was as if anything and everything in the entire world had just vanished and he was only left with his own erratic breathing and the wheezing sound of the demon. He could hear him.

Hear his blood thirsty thoughts. Hear his body movement, his heartbeat, his toes curling and uncurling, his-

Zenitsu could hear everything.

Dropping down from the tree, he lands gently on the ground; eyes still closed, his sword pointing at the beast's chest.

"Let's finish this."

The monster laughs and charges, but Zenitsu is ready for him this time-

It was as if he knew what the demon was going to do, before he did it and he acted. Sliding out the way of the grab, he brought his arms down and sliced at the arm. It wasn't fully cut off, but the demon mustn't have expected it, because it howled and drew back. Zenitsu didn't let it; closing the gap between them quickly and swinging his sword outward.

It barely missed the demon by an inch. He swings again. This time catching the monster on the flank. Zenitsu's movements are slowing down with each swing; blood loss making him more and more sluggish, but he had this. He could do this and finally finally he-

"Enough of this!" The demon growls, and suddenly it is as if the air itself is vibrating with tension. The blonde pales. No, it couldn't be. No

Power surges through the giant and with a cruel tilt of his lips; something Zenitsu is barely able to catch as his eyes fling open in horror, the demon spreads his arms open and shouts.

"**Blood demon art: Dancing illusions!"**

* * *

I love causing Zenitsu pain. I can't seem to help myself. Poor child


	8. A Memory

The whole world shift in one breath.

From one blink to the next, Zenitsu's vision is covered in horrors he'd never laid eyes on before. Dead corpses, mutilated bodies, flesh of rotten humans. The stink, oh the stink.

He wretches. Clamping a hand over his nose and his eyes tear up. What was this? What was going on? How... How could any of this be real, and the dead-

They looked so familiar, they-

"Interesting," he hears; the demon's whispering voice breaking him out of his momentary stupor. "So, this is your biggest nightmare little child."

Zenitsu doesn't know what to say. "Where," he stutters; frantically looking around, trying his hardest not to gaze upon the corpses strewed at his feet. "Where are you?"

All the confidence he had so desperately accumulated in his brief moment of bravery had suddenly forsaken him; falling out of his pockets as fear slowly began to drown him all over again. "Where are you?" he screams; backing away from the hideous sight in front of him and stumbling upon a puddle. A red puddle. When his eyes finally fall onto the floor.

Oh God

He was going to be sick.

And then-

They moved. The corpses. The dead, they – He wanted to scream, cry, maybe curl up and hide in a corner till someone finally came to save him because-

The corpses, the too familiar corpses of people... People he knew. They were... Oh God.

"Please," he muttered; taking a clumsy step back, hands still shakingly holding onto his sword as bodies came to. "Please stop. Please."

From the very corner of his eye he could see him. Gramps, he could see him. But... How could it be him. He'd buried him. He'd buried them all.

"Please." The pleading in his voice being drowned out by the groans and echoing suffering all around him. Drowned out by the foul stench of the dead, and Zenitsu couldn't help it. Couldn't help the tears that streamed down his bloody cheeks as if to add a new testament to his suffering. "I can't... I – I can't fight you... Please Nahara-san," Because the young woman approaching him was definitely the fair maiden of their village. Nahara-san. How cruel. For someone to bring her back for her to-

Nothing that came out of his mouth seemed to resound with her and in a split second she was upon him; arms slashing wide and mouth gnawing for the taste of his flesh.

Yelping, he stumbled back even further, only to-

Screaming, Zenitsu jumps away from the man who'd come up behind him; one hand abandoning his sword to press against the deep cut inflicted on him by - "Kaigaku-senpai?" The words don't come out louder than a whisper, but they come out none the less, breathless and unsure and his uncertainty making the demon laugh even harder, the blonde teen tries his best not to cry.

Zenitsu couldn't see the demon, couldn't see anything outside of the horrible vision in front of his eyes, but he could hear him, hear him loud and clear.

"Stop this!" He screams; eyes still refusing to rest on the old man charging at him. Jumping into the air, he tries to put some distance between the animated corpses and himself, but – something is in his way, because with a harsh gasp he found himself colliding against a tree truck.

A tree truck he can't see with his eyes

Oh

Oh

Illusion. This was all an illusion wasn't it, but-

How could illusions hurt anyone? How could the demon make his dead family hurt him? How?

Kaigaku-senpai attacks again; this time flanked on either side by Mori-san and gramps, making Zenitsu's poor attempt to avoid head on confrontation impossible.

He takes the hits; as non-vitaly as possible, but he takes them.

Gasping, the blonde crumbles to the ground, wounds bleeding as very real injuries pile up to make even the ability to stand on two feet impossible.

The demon is still laughing again and Zenitsu could feel the agonizing desperation of hopelessness crawling itself into all corners of his mind. He couldn't win this. That was obvious. How had he for even a second thought-

_No, don't even go there. _

Clenching sweaty palms around his sword even firmer, the blonde teen took a deep steading breath and tried to keep his eyes on every illusion in front of him.

[_ NEVER GIVE UP_]

Gramps had said that to him. Had said it over and over again, and gramps... Gramps always looked out for him, even in death, so... There must be a trick to all this, right?

How could illusions hurt him? How had he yet to see the demon? How?

In hindsight, it should have been obvious, but Zenitsu honestly didn't care about hindsight or other such bullshits. If he survived this, he was going to kiss every freaking wisteria tree in the world. That was a promise, but-

For now,

Oh

He knew... It was so obvious when he took real time to think about it.

The demon, he was hiding behind the illusions, wasn't he? That's why the attacks were only coming from one direction. He was playing with his mind and while he was distracted, the demon would strike him down. It was so obvious now and yet... Just because he knew now didn't mean he could fight it. Just because he knew didn't mean he could suddenly fight a full-fledged demon with a demon art this powerful, and he was already bleeding all over the place.

Zenitsu could honestly die here, today, right here and now. He could die.

….

Or he could not

He doesn't know where the idea strikes him, but between running away from deadly illusions and trying to keeps his vital organs from spilling out from body, a brief moment of past event suddenly flares up behind his eyes, and Zenitsu almost faceplants at the jarring memory; barely stopping himself from halting in his run, but-

He remembers.

A time, a time Kaigaku-senpai had been kind. Before Zenitsu had become a serious contender to replace gramps too, Kaigaku-senpai had been kind. Willing to help him out albeit reluctantly and sometimes even dishing out sincere advice.

'You can still use the breath of thunder to defend yourself even if you can't fully wield it as a weapon yet,' his senpai had said once; leaning against a tree as he observed Zenitsu fail yet again at getting even the basic of the forms down.

'What do you mean senpai,' he'd asked; eyes brimming with frustrating tears and bottom lips wobbling.

His senpai had sighed. 'Come here.'

He did and Kaigaku-senpai reached out for the blonde's training sword; covering Zenitsu's smaller hands with his own larger once. "You don't need to control electricity to let it out," he muttered; fingers sparkling lightly where they were resting atop of Zenitsu.

"I don't understand senpai," His eyes had been wide with wonder watching the lightning sparkle and crackle between them, and Kaigaku-senpai had chuckled. It sounded nice and Zenitsu found himself smiling back in happiness.

"Let me show you-"

That memory.

It was probably one of the most pleasant memories he had of his senpai. Swallowing down the bitter emotions that suddenly snuck up on him, Zenitsu came to a screeching halt and whirled his body around to face his assailants.

Kagaku-senpai might be gone now, but-

Affirming his stance, spreading his feet apart and taking a deep breath, Zenitsu closed his eyes.

Kaigaku-senpai might be gone, but what he taught him, it was still there and Zenitsu just needed to time it right. Just right.

"I see you've stopped running!" The demon's voice was drawing near and with it the animated-illusionary corpses. "Good, it's time to die!"

'_No,' _Zenitsu thought; eyes still firmly closed as he tried to listen for every movement, every tense muscle, every heartbeat._'No, it's not over yet.' _

And with that he let the burning feeling dancing through his veins buzz all across his skin and sparkle into something dangerous, heaving a giant crackling nightmare of lightning thunder across his entire body and the demon illusions didn't have a chance to get out of his personal space before the lightening surrounding his body like a shield snapped at their feet; burning them up and making the demon hiding behind them scream in agony.

Zenitsu's eyes snap open and he manages to witness the giant of a demon stumbling back away from him; burned flesh healing up slowly, but the shock in his face lingering.

The blonde would have laughed himself hoarse if-

Dropping down to his own knees, Zenitsu heaves a choking breath; blood trickling down his chin as rivers of red, paint the ground under him scarlet. "Damn it," he hisses; arms coming up to his chest futilely to stave of the blood loss, but how could he stop all that blood, how could he – His vision begins to darken and Zenitsu knows without a shadow of a doubt that if he loses consciousness here, he might never wake up again, so he shakes it of as feebly as he can; coughing painfully the whole time.

The demon seems to have gathered himself in that little time it took for Zenitsu to not die, and the teen finds himself cursing the unfair ability of healing. How was that right, he could have won if, if life had just been fair? The monster probably realized it too, because he started to laugh again. His body was still stuttering to a stop every other step, but the malicious glee that had been burning so fierce in the beast's heart had again been rekindled. "You did well brat," he smirks; Zenitsu can barely keep him in sight. "But it's too bad that your body wasn't designed to be better-"

There are no more room for words after that, and the demon advances on him. Zenitsu was ashamed to say that tears started to fall again. He was scared, terrified. This was his final moment and he didn't want it to be. Didn't want to die like this. Not before he'd done everything he'd promised himself to do. Not before he avenged his family, not before – and yet... This was it. Still; gripping his sword tighter, he raises his head high. His body is still shaking something fierce and his eyes are too blurry from being abused with tears and his nose is stuffy from the snot dripping down his face, but – for everyone that ever believed in him, even a little – he was going to keep his head high. He wasn't going to die a coward. Never.

The demon must have seen something in his face because he grins and nods down at him, and maybe that should have been enough, and, it is, so he breaths and puffs out his chest. It was goodbye-

Or he thought it was but in the next second; just as the arm was about to strike him down, another body collided with the demon, feet first and the giant of a monster flew away with that single blow to where the eyes couldn't see.

Jumping once and then twice to steady himself, Obanai-senpai came to a stop in front of him, his back turned.

"I'm sorry I'm late kid."

"Obanai-sen...pai?

Obanai-senpai, because damn him! It was his senpai, turns around to stare at him with the blankest of expressions. His left eye is shadowed in blood, his lip is busted, and his uniform is torn in several places. "I was held up," his senpai says. "Lower moon three was giving me some trouble, I apologize for not having made it to you in time."

"I-" Zenitsu doesn't even know if he is sobbing or laughing or doing a mix of both, because oh God, he was here. His senpai, his mentor – he was here, and he wasn't going to let Zenitsu die and-

"I'm so-sorry for what I said earlier!" He screams; one hand coming up to rub at his tear stained face. "I didn't mean to tell you that – I... I was just angry senpai! And... and... I didn't want to die before I got to say... I'm - I'm sorry senpai!"

Each word is wretched out of his lungs in a chaotic wave of emotional instability but whatever he must have spluttered must have had some semblance of coherency because the mismatched eyes facing him soften at the corners and the blankness of Obanai-senpai's expression eases up a bit. "I believe you brat. Now get yourself together. I didn't have the chance to defeat the lower moon before I figured you were in trouble, so we're about to face two demons rather than one."

Zenitsu nods. "Okay. Okay."

Obanai-senpai nods back, and then a shadow falls from the sky; landing gracefully on the destroyed ground under him, and he is quickly followed by the giant leaping back into the fray.

The snake pillar shifts himself just so, his body now covering Zenitsu's own from view. "So, you found me again," he mutters; voice both dull and wholly unimpressed.

The demon glares. "You will not get away from me this time snake pillar."

His senpai swings his sword around; fingers nibble and casual. "I wasn't planning to. Just needed to make sure my student hadn't died a grizzly death while I was busy ending your miserable life." The demon snares at that; left eye glowing with a prominent number.

"You won't be laughing when I am done with you," he hisses; chest fully bare except for the several tiny knifes strapped to a belt crisscrossing his shoulders and waist. "I will get my number back! By killing you, I shall prove that the newbie has no right to rise above me in rank! Has no right to be the number two when I'm still here!"

Obanai-senpai sighs again. "If you didn't like it you should have killed it." Tensing his shoulders, he aims his sword at the short demon's chest. "Now I'll be taking your life if you don't mind.

* * *

Obanai is finally here to save the day. Maybe Zenitsu won't get more trauma than he already has this time ;)


	9. What Was Promised

When Obanai-senpai moved, Zenitsu couldn't follow him with his eyes anymore. It was as if the ground under the man itself was made of air, and Zenitsu could do nothing more but put some semblance of pressure on his deepest cuts and stare after the blurry figure currently keeping himself between Zenitsu and the two demons hellbent on killing them both.

'_I should help', _he though; slowly sliding down the tree, breaths coming out in ragged puffs of vibrations._ 'I need to get up and... I need to help him'. _

But try as he might, he just couldn't push his feet under him and along with his blood loss his consciousness was starting to slip too. No, he couldn't afford to black out now. He could die! And if he did, who did Obanai-senpai come all the way here to save? If he died Obanai-senpai wouldn't even have someone to bring his corps back to since his family were-

Shaking his head furiously, the blonde teen cut of the thought before it even had a chance to take root. No time for that. No time for that at all. He just needed to get up and do something, anything.

Suddenly the space before him shifted and out of thin air Obanai-senpai reappeared, dropping low and swinging his leg outward to sweep the feet under the demon who'd just appeared a second after. He missed, but the blade he struck out against the demon's shoulder hit its mark. Both monster and pillar hissed in unison and to Zenitsu's shock, an almost perfect punctuation wound; replica of the one the demon was currently sporting suddenly appeared on his senpai's previously injury free shoulder.

The lower moon laughed and threw a handful of knives in their direction as he jumped backwards; putting some distance between himself and them.

Obanai-senpai managed to deflect all but one, and the minute the tiny blade cut a thin line just under his eye, an equally thin and bloodied line appeared down the demon's own cheek.

What the hell?

"Senpai?"

"I know."

"But how?" His words came out more like a wail, because how was this fair? For some reason this demon was able to inflict wounds on Obanai-senpai without even touching him and how could that even be? It was as if any damage either of them took, both of them suffered. Was it-

"It's his demon art." The snake pillar answered as if he'd read his thoughts. He was looking away from him again, eyes resting squarely on the two demon's no farther than a couple of feats away. "Something about damned souls." The older male didn't sound very happy about their current situation either. "Any injury on me is an injury on him and any injury on him is an injury on me, which wouldn't be a problem," his senpai said slowly; lifting one eyebrow as he took a quick peek back at him. "If-"

"If he couldn't heal unlike you," Zenitsu finished the sentence, chills running down his spine because this was bad, really really bad.

Obanai-senpai nodded but then he shook his head. "I don't have a problem with that either. Not as much as you think I do."

"You don't?" The blonde had no idea how he even had enough energy left to keep up with Obanai-senpai's conversation. The pillar shook his head.

"Strength wise, I can kill him easily. But cutting of his head means cutting of mine."

Blinking, Zenitsu smacked his lips twice; sensing how sluggish he was starting to feel. "That's going to be a problem," he muttered. Panic might or might not have been climbing up his spine, but honestly, he wasn't sure he cared much about anything at this point. Everything felt just too heavy. Just too hot, too suffocating. Obanai's eyes narrowed as he closely trailed his gaze up and down Zenitsu's body.

"You need medical help brat."

The blonde only nodded, and that seemed to tell the older what he needed to know, because in the next second he was three steps into a run, blade swinging dangerously near the giant's throat. The demon ducked out of the way and Obanai-senpai caught his own body out on a back spring with one hand and straightened himself out five steps away from the demon, just to flatten himself across the floor immediately after as three sets of knives impaled against the tree behind him.

Zenitsu heard him curse softly under his breath and it made him wince. Obanai-senpai's movements were a lot less sharp then they should be and it was clear his leg wound most have reopened at some point, because there was no way his senpai in full fit condition would have missed that opportunity to cut of that demon's head. No way.

"Pathetic," the lower moon hissed. Surprisingly, it wasn't directed at either of the demon slayers. No, the shorter demon's glare was solely fixed on the now cowering giant. "What reason were you assigned to me again for?" Every word held spite and by the way the lower moon was looking up at his fellow demon in disgust, he didn't think much of him.

Throwing himself on the ground, the giant; the same giant that had made Zenitsu's life a living hell moments ago, was now shaking by the feet of a monster half his size. "I'm sorry," he whined; forehead pressed with such a force into the ground it left a dent. "I promise I can prove myself. Just give me a chance sir! One chance!"

The lower moon lifted his foot and stepped on his head; pushing giant's face even further into the dirt. "Don't disappoint me."

Nodding vigorously, the giant didn't make a move until his superior had stepped back and given him the space he needed to stand up again.

"I won't let you down," he mumbled as he pushed himself back to his full height. No more chance for a conversation was permitted as Obanai-senpai was on them again, kicking the lower moon away and slicing the giant's arm clean off. A startled sound escaped passed the lower moon; not expecting to be ignored for a lesser demon.

"Bambo," he barked, somersaulting and landing on his feet. "Do something."

The giant nodded and Zenitsu frowned. He was going to do something, something-

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to call out to Obanai-senpai because damn it, blood loss was no excuse to be sloppy. Unfortunately, his body didn't feel the same. The minute he tried to speak, his throat convulsed and wheezing Zenitsu couldn't help but start coughing. Chest rattling he clamped a hand over his mouth and tried not to hack out his lungs. His vision was blurring something dangerous and it was only his meticulous hearing ability that allowed him to notice the diversion of Obanai-senpai's attention and the demon took advantage of that split second of momentary slip in focus to use his demon art.

"**Blood demon art: Dancing illusions!" **

"No," Zenitsu coughed, but for the life of him he couldn't say anything, couldn't warn Obanai-senpai, and as his vision evened out he noticed the moment the older man was caught in whatever nightmarish illusions Bambo had bestowed upon him. "No," he whispered coughing even harder. "No."

Obanai-senpai had frozen where he had crouched down to charge into another fight. His face had grown pale and and – was he shaking?

Zenitsu couldn't stop coughing, couldn't breathe but – he needed to do something! Anything, because Obanai-senpai wasn't supposed to look scared, not ever. Not for as long as Zenitsu had known him and right now, that's exactly how he looked. Eyes wide and fingers just loosely holding up his sword. He looked like he had one foot in the grave. Whatever he was seeing what doing a number on him.

This was bad.

Lower three approached Obanai-senpai slowly, and – Obanai-senpai flinched; taking three giant steps backward and bringing up one arm to press up against the bandages over his mouth.

"Oh," the demon said, coming to a stop and grinning like the cat who'd gotten the canary. "How fascinating. Bambo what are you showing him?"

Bambo didn't answer. Instead he staggered away from the lower moon and collapsed against the nearest tree he could find. "I'm sorry sir," he mumbled; fingers clutching against his bloated head. "He's not letting me see. He's fighting me. I-" suddenly he turned on his side and wretched.

"But your illusions?" The lower moon waved with his arm in Obanai's direction. "It works?"

The giant nodded. "I just can't get into his head," he gasped. "Can't go in there and manipulate it. He's being crippled by what he's seeing. Must be powerful stuff."

"Indeed." The short man sounded so gleeful it sent chills down Zenitsu's spine and God, he couldn't let things end like this. Obanai-senpai he-

"Senpai," he screamed suddenly; surprising himself along with the two demons. "It's not real senpai!" His chest was burning. "Snap out of it!" His throat was tightening. "It's not real!" He couldn't breathe. "Senpai!"

It didn't work. It didn't do anything and all Zenitsu could do was scream in horror when the lower moon backhanded the snake pillar so hard he flew into the deep covers of the forest.

"Senpai! Sen-" He swallowed the rest of the words as the lower moon was suddenly standing only a hairbreadth away from him.

"Hello little boy," he smiled.

Zenitsu whimpered.

The demon smiled even wider. "So you're the boy he's been trying to protect all this time. Are you grateful?"

Zenitsu nodded. Not trusting himself to make any coherent sentences.

"How precious."

He was going to die.

"How wonderful. To have that kind of trust." The demon crouched down in front of him. Making sure they were at eye level with each other. "I wish I had that kind of trust in someone else. But alas," reaching out a hand he pressed it gently against Zenitsu's cheek. It was cold. Zenitsu didn't dare to move away. So he sat there and stared. "I don't have anyone like that."

"I'm sorry," he whispered; eyes wide and voice shaky. The demon chuckled.

"You have nothing to apologize for child." The cold fingers slowly moved down his face and circled around his neck. "Nothing to apologize for at all."

This would be it for Zenitsu but-

He saw the minute the demon's expression changed from faux gentleness to shocked surprise. It was as if the moment had been slowed down just for his own enjoyment and that split second of widened eyes and dented cheek as Obanai-senpai's legs connected with the demon's face, was probably going to be the single moment of this night that Zenitsu was going to treasure with savage amount of glee. The lower moon was flung away from the blonde. One moment he was there and in the next his head was stuck through a tree and his arms were twitching fiercely by his side.

"Obanai-senpai," Zenitsu breathed; not believing his own eyes.

His senpai still looked dead inside; gaze not focused on anything and face still pale as a ghost but he was here.

"Obanai senpai?"

The older male didn't look at him. Just reached around his own neck to untie his bandages. The action was meticulous and precise if not for the uncontrollable shaking. As it came off, he threw them around his eyes instead and swiftly tied it back around his head. His upper half face now covered with thick white cloth and his mouth and cheeks completely visible for the whole world to see.

Zenitsu hadn't noticed it before, hadn't really payed much attention, but-

Tiny whitened scars littered all around his senpai's mouth. They were obviously old, but to see those little bumps across his lips, it was – disturbing.

"Senpai?"

Ignored again, but at least now the older man looked a bit less tense. Slight color had come back to his face and the shaking was slowly subsiding. It was as if by taking away his own ability to see whatever horrors lay before him, Obanai-senpai could finally get the situation under control.

"Agatsuma."

He flinched in surprise. "Yes?"

"Be ready to swap." The snake pillar didn't say anything else before he was off again. Battling the two demons with a new bouts of energy. His leg was slowing him down and not being able to see didn't help, plus the whole cannot chop of the demon's head bit, but Obanai-senpai was still holding his own and with a quick spin of his heels, the snake pillar was behind the lower moon and he took that opportunity to grab the demon by the arms and kick him harshly in the back. Zenitsu could hear the ugly snap from all the way on the other side and he winced as the demon screamed.

Dropping the now broken armed demon, Obanai-senpai stepped back and lifted his sword in the air.

"Fool," the lower moon screamed as Bambo quickly got out of the way. "If you kill me you'll die too!"

Obanai-senpai nodded. "I know. _Breath of The Serpent Fifth Form: Slithering Serpent" _

Both demons flinched back, but strangely enough, it wasn't aimed at them. No, the snake pillar targeted the ground with his attack and as dust rose between them and obscured their visions, he vanished from his position and reappeared next to Zenitsu.

"Your sword brat. Give it to me."

"You can't! He-"

Obanai-senpai's eyes were still covered but the blonde could still feel the heated glare directed at him all the same. "It's my sword his ability is connected with or I wouldn't have been able to inflict any damage on him, so your sword." He beckoned his fingers at impatiently "Now." Zenitsu picked it up from the patch of grass next to him and handed it over.

"Be careful?"

His senpai scoffed. "It's you that need to worry. I will kill the lower moon and then the grunt. Don't let your guard down."

It was a clear warning as any that Obanai-senpai wouldn't be able to keep an eye out for him now. Not now when he was aiming for the kill on a lower moon and one of his senses were cut off.

Zenitsu nodded and then quickly muttered "I understand," when it occurred to him that Obanai-senpai wouldn't be able to see his action.

"Good," and again the man was gone. It only took Zenitsu a second to notice that his senpai had left his own sword with him.

"Oh," he mumbled; reaching out for it and trailing the tip of his finger over the blade. Maybe Obanai-senpai didn't like having a sword hanging on his side while fighting but it was still nice to know he trusted him with his own.

A scream suddenly rang out across the forest and Zenitsu's head snapped up to look. The lower moon who'd been nothing short of obnoxiously confident all night was staring down in horror at his two severed arms. "How dare you!" He screeched. "How could you? My demon art. My blood demon art!"

It was then he must have noticed the sword because the outrage was quickly switched out in exchange for fear. "No," he said, stumbling back. "No."

Obanai-senpai just reaffirmed his grip around his new sword and prepared himself to strike.

"No nononono," the lower moon hissed. "Blood demon art: Kidnapped so-"

"_Breath of The Serpent Second Form: Venom Fangs of the Narrow Head!" _

Head was cut lean of and it rolled onto the forest floor with a silent thud.

It was over.

Or it should have been if not for the dark shadow that fell suddenly fell over the blonde. Apparently for a giant, this demon was really good at sneaking up on Zenitsu. He should have been scared. He felt scared maybe looking up at the angry demon snarling down at him, but – he just felt so tired and everything was blending together from the corner of his eyes. His vision finally fading into black at the same instance Bambo reached out to probably kill him.

Huh

He was going to die? Was he already dead? Who was left to mourn him?

It didn't matter either way. To go out like this? It wasn't so bad and besides, he always had nice dreams. Dreams where he was strong and powerful. Dreams where he could defend the weak and avenge his family. Dreams were both gramps and Obanai-senpai were proud of him.

It was funny, how Bambo was still here, in his dreams. Staring down at him, trying to grab him.

_Too bad, _Zenitsu thought, ducking under his arm and kicking him under the chin. This was his dream and, in his dream, Zenitsu always won.

Dancing out of the way of another strike, he breathed deeply and slide down to snatch up Obanai-senpai's sword.

How cool would it be? To be like Obanai-senpai. To be great.

"_Breath of Thunder First Style: Thunderclap and Flash" _

Giant didn't see it coming. No one ever did. Not in his dreams.

Putting away his borrowed sword he suddenly found himself tipping over to one side.

Huh?

Why did he feel so heavy? Why did it hurt so much?

Blinking slowly he felt his dream blurring into itself and his eyes opening up to look into the mismatched pair of his senpai's.

Oh, so Obanai-senpai was the one who was holding him up. And his eyes – his mouth was covered again.

"Senpai?"

His whole body was screaming, and he couldn't for the life of him see where that demon went. Did Obanai-senpai kill him? Was he still lurking somewhere?

"Senpai?" He felt like he was dying.

"It's ok brat," Obanai-senpai muttered. "You did good. It's over now."

Over? What was over?

"Impossible!"

Obanai-senpai's eyes flicked away from him and to the lower moon who was slowly turning into ash. Zenitsu tried to do the same too, but he couldn't move. His body felt ten times heavier than usual.

"You were supposed to be dead!" The demon screamed again; sounding maniac and crazed. "Thunder breather! How are you still alive! A promise has been broken! A promise has been broken!"

"What are you talking about?" Obanai-senpai was suddenly lowering him back on to the ground; being careful yet quick, before he marched over to the vanishing demon. "What do you mean he should be dead?"

Lower moon three was now laughing. A maniac little thrilling sound. "Oh, I wish I could be around to see the look on his face when master finds out. Serves him right! Serves him right!"

"Who are you talking about?"

Impatience was starting to color Obanai-senpai's voice.

"Nakime-sama was supposed to have killed them all. It is what was promised in return of master's gift." And with those final words, he vanished.

* * *

**Phew, it took me forever to finish this fight but now it's over and I didn't kill or permanently damage either of my boys *I'm almost impressed with my kindness* Can't say the same for their mental state though ;) Also, I shall give you all a little more fluff and happiness from now on (the worst is still yet to come but for now) you have earned a little more happiness in this story so I shall give you 10%**


	10. Trust

Everything after the fight felt sped up like someone was holding down the fast-forward button and Zenitsu desperately tried to blink the darkness away. Trying not to lose any more time.

"Here," Obanai said; leaning down and readjusting the blonde until he had good enough grasp around his waist to get him standing back up again, heavily tilting into the snake pillar. Zenitsu whined low in his throat. Everything hurt and his legs barely had any strength left in them to keep him from face-planting if Obanai-senpai decided to let him go. Fortunately for his battered self it didn't look like the older man was about to do that any time soon.

Throwing his own slightly healthier arm around the pillar's shoulder he gritted his teeth when the cut running down through his waist flared up. "Everything hurts," he mumbled; dry throat making his words feel jumbled and incoherent. Obanai-senpai nodded either way.

"I know."

"You saying that doesn't make it hurt any less," Zenitsu complained. He only got a slight bit of jolt for his trouble. "Ouch!" he said, staring at his senpai with obvious hurt framing his face. "Why did you do that for?" Obanai-senpai jolted him again.

"Drop it brat or I'll drop you."

"Ok ok ok." Geez, he'd forgotten what a grouch Obanai-senpai could be. "You didn't have to-"

Obanai-senpai's eyebrow twitched and Zenitsu clamped up pretty quick. Raising his injured arm in a sign of pathetic surrender.

Like that they hobbled their way through the dead night. Obanai being the better faring on practically carrying both of their weights by the end of the clearing. But just as they were about to turn back in the direction of the manor, Zenitsu came to a screeching halt snapping the snake pillar into an awkward looking stop. Obanai-senpai hissed in pain and then turned on the blonde so quick that for a second Zenitsu's life flashed before his eyes.

"Brat," Obanai-senpai growled. "I will leave you here if you don't cut this shit out right this instant."

"That's not – I... I'm sorry!" he wailed. Why did his senpai always have to be so scary? "I just remembered something we need to do," he said; eyes drawn out wide and expression crumbling into one of fear.

The snake pillar sighed. "What?"

"Kaburamaru-san! I left him in the forest to keep him safe. We need to go get him!"

His senpai didn't say anything for a while just stared at him. Finally; when the silence almost became unbearable for Zenitsu, the older man sighed and then pushed Zenitsu forward to indicate to keep walking.

"He'll find me," he said as a way of explanation when it became obvious the blonde was still worried. "We need to keep moving."

"Are you sure? Because if you're not-"

Huh

His chest hurt. Not in the painful way it had been doing, but more like – His lower lip wobbled and he felt his eyes sting. He couldn't get a lid on any of his emotions.

"What if he can't find us in the dark senpai?"

Obanai-senpai sighed and then bumped his own head against Zenitsu's. "He will."

"Ok." He didn't know why this was getting to him so much. "Ok." But if Obanai-senpai said it would work out. "He'll find us." Then he could believe that. The snake pillar gives him a nod and they start walking again.

Zenitsu doesn't know for how long they walk. It felt like forever and he found himself slipping in and out of consciousness and by the time he dragged himself back into the real world for the ninth time, figures in white were rushing out towards them and there was noise and chatter and screams and worry and he didn't remember anything after that.

The first time he wakes up it's to the sound of quite sobbing. It's a struggle to force his eyes open but when he does, he's greeted with the sight of Obanai-senpai's still form on the bed next to him and Fuyoko-chan holding the older man's hand between her own as she cried softly over his body. Words of prayer leaving her lips in a jumble of desperation.

Seeing her, seeing how worried she was for Obanai-senpai how scared, it makes him feel small. There where he lies, he remembers gramps. Master that would make him eat his soup and drink his water whenever he was sick or down with an injury. Even Kaigaku-senpai used to check in on him when he thought he was sleeping. The foulest insults leaving his mouth, but he would press the back of his hand to his forehead, would tighten the blankets around him and would draw the curtains so the moonlight would stop hitting his face. It was a long time ago. He doesn't remember the last time Kaigaku-senpai had been anything else but awful to him now. He wonders if they could have gone back to those days if-

He blacks out again.

The second time he wakes up no one is there. His left ear feels plugged with all the gauze tightly wrapped around it. He wonders if they managed to save it somehow. Maybe? Maybe not.

From next to him, the even breaths of the snake pillar tell him that the man is still asleep. Maybe he should be too. He closes his eyes and he's gone in a couple of seconds.

The third time he wakes up he has the strength to move his head again. Just so, but he's able to look at Obanai-senpai again. And when he shifts; hissing at the pain and finally rests his gaze on the sleeping man, tears start dripping down his cheek because right there on Obanai-senpai's bed is Kaburamaru. Circled around his senpai's arm and resting his head on the injury free shoulder. Zenitsu had never felt so happy to see a reptile in his entire life. Things fade into black again and he's out.

The fourth time he wakes up he's not in the same room anymore. He's lying on a futon on the ground in what looks to be his own room. So they most have moved him away from the medical wing then.

"I see you're awake."

He startles and is immediately assaulted with fire in his veins. "Ahh," he grunts; water filling his eyes.

"Don't move or you'll reopen your wounds."

"Senpai?" What was Obanai-senpai even doing here? Curiosity taking over, he tries to shift. It still hurts but he's careful and eventually is able to turn his head enough to notice the man leaning up against the wall near his futon.

"Obanai-senpai!"

The snake pillar looks up from feeding Kaburamaru and nods back at him. "Hanako-san said you would wake up around this time. Seems she was correct in her prediction."

Zenitsu blinks up at the older man owlishly. Not exactly able to fully wrap his head around the situation just yet. Obanai-senpai has turned his attention back on his snake. Feeding him tiny little insects that he was scooping up from a box near his lap. Zenitsu grimaced. Gross.

"How long was I out," he asked when looking at those moving bugs became too much. His voice is scratchy and hoarse but it's surprisingly a lot more stable than he'd imagined it to be.

"Five days," Obanai-senpai answered. "You were in and out a couple of times though. Fuyuko-san got some water in you the last time you woke up delirious." Here his frown deepened. "You were pretty out of it."

Zenitsu bit his lip. "Did I say anything?"

Obanai stilled.

"What did I say Obanai-senpai?"

"You were pretty shaken up so I wouldn't think too much about it, but you said – you said you... You told us to let you die."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I didn't mean it."

"I know."

Turning away from Obanai-senpai, he blinks up at the ceiling again, sensing the vague tingling of upcoming tears. Damn it. Why was he such a baby about everything? Obanai-senpai got hurt twice, had to lug his sorry ass back to this mansion twice and was awake and dealing with his stupidity once again. Couldn't he get anything right ever?

"I'm sorry Obanai-senpai."

He could see the man shrugging from his peripheral view. "You said that too. Over and over again."

"That's because I am," he gritted out; furiously blinking away the moister in his eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said and I'm sorry for constantly letting you down."

Obanai hums but doesn't say anything in return.

Of course he doesn't. What did Zenitsu expect.

They remain silent for a while. Only Kaburamaru's gobbling sounds being the only thing disturbing the quiet.

Eventually Obanai-senpai's hand stop moving however and he clears his throat. Zenitsu looks back at him. The older man's gaze is fixed on the palm of his own hands; Kaburamaru having chosen to rest his head on top of them.

"We need to talk kid."

Dread pools into the blonde's gut and he finds himself turning away from the older man.

"What happened," Obanai starts. "To your family to your village, _kid _" his voice raises at the last word forcing Zenitsu to look at him again. Obanai-senpai is staring right back. "It wasn't your fault kid. You need to stop blaming yourself."

A sudden burning feeling hits at his inner core. It was as if someone took a hold of his heart and started moving it again. It was as if something cut lose, something cold, something foreign.

He gasps and stares and Obanai-senpai stares back. "It's not your fault kid. It was never your fault."

"How do you know," he whispered; voice-soft, halting, strange. "Why am I alive? Why me?"

Obanai-senpai finally looks away; a faraway gaze taking over his face and he lifts one hand to run over the bandages on his lower face. "Do you know what I saw, when that demon – do you know."

"I-" Zenitsu swallowed. "No, I don't." The snake pillar nodded.

"I saw death Agatsuma. I saw piles of bodies stacked atop of each other. I remembered how I stared up at their dead eyes and wondered when anyone would find me. If the demons would realize someone was alive in that pile of flesh if the blood dripping into my mouth would stop if my friend would die trying to hold me back from crawling out of the bodies to continue fighting because I promised I would."

Obanai curled his fingers into fists before unclenching them and scratching is fingers across the bandages. "I became a demon slayer so I could help people. To save lives and I was good at it." His throat bopped as he swallowed. "I had this mentor. He was several years older than me and I idolized him. Thought his younger brother was an idiot, but I idolized him."

Zenitsu didn't dare to interrupt him. This was the most the snake pillar had ever talked to him or said in a single moment and he was afraid to break the man's trust by saying something stupid even if well meant.

It took Obanai-senpai a second to gather himself again and by then Kaburamaru had fully climbed up the older man's shoulder; nestling his head at the croak of the neck.

"Muzan's demons attacked this village. I was too low ranked to know why it was being sieged but we had our orders. Me and a handful of others. We had our orders to defend it till daybreak and protect the civilians. Akinari brought me and his brother Haruo-kun to the village. The demons were supposed to be low ranked and with Akinari and some other higher-level slayers, things were supposed to go smoothly. We were wrong."

Zenitsu was horrified, but the terrible night Obanai suffered didn't end there and so with wide eyed and face as pale as the moon light shining brightly above them, Obanai-senpai told him a tale of blood, betrayal and loss.

Told him how when the demons overwhelmed them it was decided to evacuate the civilians. Told him how that bastard Akinari had taken his highest-ranking men to do the job and promised to come back but never did. How he abandoned both Obanai-senpai and his baby brother. Leaving them for dead. How Obanai-senpai hadn't believed, hadn't wanted to believe even when a bunch of Mizunoto and Mizunoe ranked children were being slaughtered left and right. Put in a pile to be eaten later. Not when he – Obanai-senpai himself was thrown in there, with all the dead corpses and the mutilated body parts.

"I couldn't move," Obanai-senpai had said not looking at him. "I was bleeding from everywhere possible but I still wanted to help still wanted to stop all the screaming but I couldn't move. My dead comrades were lying on top of me. Bleeding on me. Their flesh everywhere. The rot Zenitsu. There was a demon that could - acid and... the rot."

He paused after; his chest heaving as if someone was lying on it. As if he couldn't really see his surroundings anymore. Again and again Obanai-senpai would reach up to scratch at the bandages and it made a sudden onset of anger swell up inside the blonde. Because how dare this Akinari bastard do this to someone as good and brave as Obanai-senpai.

"Haruo-kun was next to me," the snake pillar restarted his story; voice only shaking the slightest degree. "His left eye was missing and his legs were gone but he still held me down with his arm and told me not to move. Told me to get away when the demons became distracted with their feast. Told me to save myself." Obanai-senpai laughs. It sounds wet and broken. "I'd called him an idiot just yesterday and for some reason even then – even after how hard I made his life... He-" Obanai-senpai scratches at his face again. "No one was braver in the face of death Agatsuma. No one. Not like Haruo-kun. He held me down until his very last breath and he never cried. Not once."

Zenitsu didn't know when he'd started crying himself but silent tears were running down his cheeks. Obanai-senpai's face was dry. Not a single tear. Not a single wet eye.

"When I moved to look at him," the snake pillar brought up one leg to rest his head on. "I got his hair in my mouth. It was long you know. His hair. It was brown and long and got tangled into stuff. I told him to cut it once, because it was impractical to have hair that long. Mitsuri would have loved his hair." The last part was no louder than a whisper. "I promised myself then... I was going to live and I was going to make everyone pay and when I saw Akinari again... I was going to run him through with my sword. I could care less about the rules. When I found him, I was going to kill him because-" Now his eyes were shining. "Haruo-kun kept asking me when his brother was coming back and I couldn't tell him he wasn't."

He clawed against his bandages again.

"Blood, hair, flesh. All of it, I could taste all of it Zenitsu. My nose was broken I couldn't breathe through it so I- The hashira came before I – I don't know how much time passed but the hashira came and - Kuwajima-san he hugged me. When they dug me out he – and then I was taken back to the headquarters and I just-"

He tore at his bandages again. Zenitsu couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to tell him to stop. To just stop. He didn't have to tell him anything. But it was as if a dam had been broken. A carefully constructed seal giving away to secrets and traumas long buried. They were all spilling out now.

"The first day in the hospital, I tried to sew my mouth shut."

A feeling of disorientation came over Zenitsu. Horror seizing his chest and he looked up at his unshakable senpai and felt his stomach drop. "What?" he whispered.

Obanai-senpai looked away. "The blood, the-" He began. As if he was trying to explain himself; fingers twitching. "Whenever I slept it felt like I was there that I was still drowning in... That I was still there so I tried" His fingers flexed. "I was halfway through when Oyakata-sama came to me. He was kind. He was gentle. He made things better. I believed him when he said it was going to be ok. The next day" his fingers flexed again. "My wounds hadn't even started healing before I took a knife to my mouth. They had to put me under supervision after that. I couldn't be trusted to look after myself." Here he smiled a little as if remembering something just a little more pleasant in the darkness that was his past. "Rengoku, he was a pillar. I wasn't back then, but he was and-" The smile widened a little further. Zenitsu could see it from the crinkles in the comers of Obanai-senpai's eyes. "He came in everyday to talk to me and force me to play cards with him. He was annoying." Obanai-senpai's arms stilled by his side. "But when I was healed, when I got better and was about to be transferred over to the Yamuara's house," here he looked around at the room. "He came to me, Rengoku and put these white bandages over my mouth. Said it would keep the blood out. Keep me grounded. It did somewhat. I was grateful."

"Did you?" Zenitsu couldn't help himself anymore.

"Did I what?"

"Akinari - did you?"

Obanai-senpai shook his head; beginning to push himself back on his feet. "Someone else already got to him. Someone else already ran through him with a sword."

"Oh."

"I don't know who it was, but I could make a guess." And with that he disappeared out the door.

Zenitsu could only lie there staring at the ceiling. Vision blurry and nose stuffed. Obanai-senpai he- And then he had the nerve to accuse him of not saving his family? How wrong he'd been. A silent sob escaped passed his lips and he clamped his mouth shut in a desperate attempt to force the sound down. It takes him what almost feels like hours but was in reality only ten minutes to calm down.

There is a sudden knock on his door then. He startled. "Come in," he said; voice a little wet.

It was Obanai-senpai. Zenitsu looked up at him in surprise. He didn't think he would see him again. Not for a while at least. But there he was, leaning against the door frame. Blank face already in place and holding up – was that a deck of cards?

Sure enough, Obanai-senpai waved the cards around. "Want to play kid?"

Zenitsu smiled. He didn't know why but a shaky slow smile spread across his face. "Sure senpai," he said. "I would love to."

* * *

**So here you have it folks. The trauma. It's not really why he became a demon slayer but it's one of the most traumatic moments of his life ever. Fair warning, this story diverges drastically from canon since it was written before a lot of Obanai's story was established at the end of the manga. But I'll try my best to make it as similar to canon as possible**

**End of Arc 1**


	11. Promises

**I want to thank all of you for the immense support you have given me. I'm truly grateful. And especially to dear Hekka who has taken the time to comment on every single chapter so far. Your opinions and thoughts have made me reflect back on this story and made me really happy. So thank you. Anyways, here you have the next two chapters everyone!**

**Beginning of Arc 2**

* * *

"What do you mean he's gone?"

Fuyoko-chan smiled down at him while trying to not meet his gaze as she pressed gently against his stitched-up wounds and hummed to herself. "Just a couple more days of sufficient rest and you should be right as rain," she said.

Zenitsu didn't care.

"What do you mean he's gone," he asked again; trying to push himself up but a firm placement of the old woman's hand on his chest halted the movement. "He was just here this morning?" Panic was slowly starting to seep into his veins. "He can't be gone. He didn't even say goodbye."

"Now now child," Fuyoko-chan said; her smile taking a bit of a sharp turn. "Keep moving around like that and you're going to pull out some stitches and we don't want that do we?"

Zenitsu didn't care. How could he when this was the first, he was hearing of his senpai's disappearance, so all he did was stare back up at her, eyes glassy and lips pursed into a pout. "He just left?"

The smile turned gentle at that and the old lady patted him briefly on the head before standing up again; medical kit in hand. "He'll be back honey," she said, nodding down at Kaburamaru sleeping soundly next to him. "He wouldn't leave him behind, so he'll be back. Don't you worry yourself dear." With that she was out the door and with a last nod and a wave, she locked it behind her. Zenitsu still felt like a chunk of his very being had been dragged through the mud and left in the trash.

"He left me."

Sure Kaburamaru was still here but Obanai-senpai had already told him the snake could find him anywhere so who's to say that the next time he fell asleep his friend wasn't just going to disappear too? What about the mission crows? Maybe two of them would come around and pick Kaburamaru up, take him to Obanai-senpai wherever he was and leave him behind?

He didn't even say goodbye.

That more than anything, hurt.

Swallowing thickly, he rubbed a tired hand across his eyes. Puzzles of his life that had just started settling into their places suddenly feeling like they were being dislodged, broken and thrown into chaos all over again and the blonde didn't know what to do with himself anymore.

He thought they'd been ok, good even. Obanai-senpai wasn't the most outspoken person, but every so often he – he would come up and they'd play cards and he'd let Zenitsu get away with blabbering on about anything and everything. So why would he...

Maybe he'd found him annoying after all. Maybe he'd just been indulging an injured kid. Maybe he was just waiting for him to be free of death's door before he decided to continue on without him. But-

"He's a pillar," Fukoyo-chan had scolded him when he missed their annual card game. "You must understand he has a lot on his mind."

Fair, that was fair but – didn't he at least owe Zenitsu the chance to say goodbye?

Glancing down at the snake pressed up against his leg, he sighed. "What am I doing wrong Kaburamaru-san." Running a careful finger over the snake's head as not to wake him, he raised his other hand to scratch against his ear; the itching bothering him terribly. The bandages were still in his way of course, so no success there, but it still made him grimace in frustration when the prickling nerves didn't relent under the mild tapping that he managed to echo through the cloth.

Eventually staying up out of frustration became too exhausting and in the end his heavy eyelids won the battle of stubbornness and before the blonde teen knew it, he was yawning more than he was muttering bitterly under his breath and so he chose to fully lay back down and in a matter of seconds was out like a light.

Three slow days passed in quiet succession without any word from the snake pillar and by this point, Zenitsu was walking around on his own and was very much capable of listening and tracking down any crows that got anywhere near the Mansion. The irritation of his constant questioning of Obanai-senpai's return eventually began to break through the professional masks of the servants and Zenitsu clamped his mouth shut and tried to find information somewhere else after that. It wasn't easy and by the night of the fourth day, he was finally sure the older male wasn't coming back. Not for him. Not for Kaburamaru.

It hurt.

But it didn't hurt for long, because he did come back. Came waltzing in through the front gates as if he'd never left. His crow bumped him on the head before flying off and Obanai-senpai took of his shoes, put down his bag by the gate and went to give Fuyoko-chan a hug.

"Welcome back," she said; a large smile painting her thin lips. His senpai nodded at her in acknowledgement and turned around to face him. Or more precisely, face the door he was hiding behind.

"Agatsuma."

He yelped, then bit his lip to silence the sound and pressed himself even further behind the door; never mind that he'd already been discovered. Because... he was back? Obanai-senpai he- he came back. Even though – he wasn't supposed to he-

"Agatsuma, get out of there. You look ridiculous."

It took him a moment to let the words fully dawn on him, but when they did, his face flushed red and he ducked his chin down even further before shuffling out from behind the door. "Welcome back Obanai-senpai." His voice cracked at the end of the sentence and his cheeks blazed up in embarrassment. Feeling even more like dirt when all Obanai-senpai did in answer was to lift a single disinterested eyebrow. "I-" he continued, and _why the hell was he still talking? _"I'm glad you're back and – I just" _Stop talking! _"I didn't think you-" _ .Zenitsu! _

"You didn't think I would come back?"

The blonde felt as if his feet suddenly looked more interesting than any wonders of the world, and he couldn't for the life of him look away from them. "Yeah."

He wished Kaburamaru was here with him right now. He felt strangely empty without his new friend. And now that his mind had registered the fact that Fuyoko-chan had left them alone, he felt even more scrutinized and judged.

"I wouldn't break your trust like that," The snake pillar finally said; breaking the silence.

And ouch. Zenitsu suddenly felt like a terrible person for thinking that Obanai-senpai would do something like that. Especially after he told him about – especially after Akinari. Of course Obanai-senpai wouldn't just abandon him. Why was he so bad at understanding the other man? He kept on stepping on his toes and no wonder his senpai was sick of him. "I'm sorry Obanai-senpai. I didn't-"

"It's ok."

No more words were exchanged after that as dinner was called and Zenitsu doesn't snap out of his strange trance until a firm hand is placed between his shoulder blades and he's being pushed towards the hallway. "Let's go Agatsuma."

He can only nod along.

XXXXXX

Dinner was a quiet affair. The Yamuaras' are as friendly as ever and their fondness for the snake pillar is very clear in how engrossed they were in his retelling of the simple mission he undertook, but despite how interesting it sounded, despite how he would have been just as engrossed any other day, Zenitsu wasn't able to commit to the familial atmosphere like everyone else.

A weight rested between his breastbones and try as he might, he couldn't choke down the unease that had been writhing through his veins all evening. He couldn't shake of the feeling that Obanai-senpai wasn't here to stay, wasn't here to take him with him either. That maybe this was the goodbye he had wished for but hadn't wanted.

And-

"I can't let you come with me kid."

They had relocated back to his makeshift hospital-bedroom and they were just playing their second round of Rengoku-san's bizarre card game, when his senpai had refused to tap down his fourth number and instead calmly told him; after a painstaking moment of awkward silence, that he was planning on leaving for good. "It's best if you stay here with Yamuara-san and Fuyoko-san kid."

"I don't understand." What was he talking about? Hadn't Zenitsu proven himself? Hadn't he almost died out there? Was Obanai-senpai still angry about what he said? Was he still disappointed that the blonde hadn't defeated the demon by himself and was he-was he- did he think Zenitsu wasn't going to amount to-

"Please don't leave me." It came out broken, pleading, pathetic and – he sniffed, looking down. Why couldn't he ever be something more than what he was. Something less disappointing.

Obanai-senpai tapped down his fourth number; it was a seven and then flicked his third. Zenitsu still had no idea how this game was actually played. "I'm not trying to leave you kid-"

"But you are!"

For some reason, those words made the snake pillar jerk back and the action made Zenitsu look up. Big mistake. Now he couldn't hide the big fat tears threatening to spill down his cheeks and yet again, Zenitsu was furious with himself and his inability to keep his dumb emotions in check. Something strange flickered over Obanai's face and the blonde couldn't decipher it quickly enough before it once again was hidden behind a well-practiced blank expression.

"I'm trying to keep you alive brat."

"Why can't I be alive while training with you?"

A sigh and a nudge of Zenitsu's hand indicating to continue the game.

The blonde frowned but still circled two cards before flipping the sixth. "For some reason kid, demons are after you. High ranking demons and until we figure out why, I can't just let you wander outside the safety of the wisteria trees."

"We?" Because who else outside of their circle knew about that fight.

"Yes we," his senpai muttered; carefully examining the cards strewn around the floor before picking up Rengoku-san's crumbled paper of rules to examine how they ought to proceed next. "I have contacted Oyakata-sama and he and my fellow Hashira's are of the same mind that you need to be under watch." Putting down the paper, Obanai-senpai dealt out three new cards. "You staying right here is in your best interest."

"You promised to train me Obanai-senpai!" This felt like a last fight. A last deciding match to determine if he would ever see the older man again. "I can't get better without your help!" He didn't have anyone else to lean on. No one. "Gramps wanted me to pass the final selection. I can't do that without your help!" He wanted to stay with him. "It's the last thing gramps ever wanted for me. I can't let him down again!"

'_Don't leave me behind, please.' _

Obanai-senpai's eyebrows did a little strange dance; contorting and bowing along with whatever thoughts swirling inside his head and his nose crunched up into a contemplating frown. "I won't train you for vengeance," he finally settled on after a long moment of silence. "I owe Kuwajima-san more than that. And I won't train someone that doesn't show potential."

"Ok."

Zenitsu could agree with that, for now. "I can accept that. Look, Obanai-senpai, the Final Selection, it's in three months-"

"I know."

"Train me till then!" His pitch was coming out better then he'd expected. Yay for practice! "And if you don't think I'm ready you can... Um, uh – you can take my sword!"

Another nudge to continue the game. The snake pillar observed his next move carefully before he spoke up again. "What stops me from taking it from you now? It would stop you from recklessly pursuing danger and wouldn't have to – think about you going out there and getting yourself killed."

"You can't do that," Zenitsu protested; glancing over at his sword where it rested on top of his futon next to Kaburamaru.

"Why not?"

"Because," he said, voice going strangely quiet. "It's the last thing gramps gave me before he died."

Obanai-senpai nodded; it was a slight twitch of his chin and if it wasn't for his fingers tightening around the cards he was holding Zenitsu wouldn't even have noticed the effect the words had on him. "There is a Hashira meeting in a month," his senpai said then. "If you don't show improvement by then I'll drop you at whatever safe house we're nearby and there will be no chance of coming back here again."

Improvement, real improvement in a month. He could do that, right?

"Ok," he said, not voicing any of his indecisions and doubts. "Deal."

Obanai-senpai nodded again and that was that.

He wasn't going to be left behind.

Pure light flooded his heart and he had to desperately fight down the burst of joy threatening to spill passed his lips. Ducking his head down he tried to hide the giant grin splitting his face in half but the lump in his throat and the sting in his eyes were harder to push away, he managed though.

He managed until a gentle hand came to rest atop of his head and unlike the first time Obanai-senpai had done it, the weight of the comforting hand stayed put.

"You and me kid," the snake pillar said. "You and me," and how could anyone expect Zenitsu not to cry after that. And so he did. Shoulders shaking with sobs that forced him to cover his face so the ugly sound didn't escape passed the walls, but Obanai-senpai didn't seem to mind; keeping his hand right where it was, and that more than anything meant the world to Agatsuma Zenitsu.

"I won't let you down," he hiccupped. "I promise I won't let you down."

* * *

**Yay for talking things out!**


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